Dave Hillis is a music producer. I’m not sure what kind of relationship he had with Demri. I can guess they were friends by the way they look in that photo.
Unresolved pain is the beginning, middle and end of any kind of addiction — whether it be street drugs, designer drugs, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, food, porn, sex… You name it. If you’ve got pain you refuse to take to God, it WILL take you down. It is the devil’s carving knife. He’s sharpening it and he looks hungry. Nobody is strong enough to face him alone.
I’ll never understand peoples’ need to label folk that get addicted as “lost” or “in pain”…what about if you just liked to get high;and because you were 20 years old,you thought the stories of pain and death didn’t apply?…Until they did.Because that is what happens to most addicts…they make a mistake.
I just want to say I appreciate you sharing some of your past with us Barbara.. some of it sad, some happy, but also allot of it exciting and unforgetable, just to have known one of the most talented and unique singers of all times is great in itself. Also knowing a beautiful person like Demri was a honor. You have loss so much, you have to be a strong person to endure all that, if you knew then what you know now would you do it again?
Just listened to some AIC and ended up on this site. RIP Layne, Demri, and everyone else.
It kind of feels like that era never really got to be what it could’ve been. And yet, the music of then still sounds as current as anything else of now.
Oh yes I agree… so much potential, cut so short 🙁 I was listening to Mother Love Bone a while ago and Andy… Damn. So much lost potential My heart aches for our lost 90s heroes.
The rsason is because you’ve slept on it all night.
Back pain numbness is not something that should be taken lightly
by any means. However, it is not necessary to associate common
everyday feelings as symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis.
Hi Barbara,
I had a reply from someone called Elizabeth on facebook who knows Jack Plasky.
She said Jack is going through hundreds of hours of video at the moment but he has a video of Demri dancing with a snake and thats the one he will post!!
Awesome hey!
Just wanted to say hi Barb, got a little overwhelmed a minute ago browsing a website that was supposed to be about Layne but people were commenting as usual about Demri and it makes me sick and so angry. I became a Demri fan long ago. I quickly got off that site. Can’t stand to read mean things.
RIP BEAUTIFUL DEMRI
yeah. seems hillis only ever does anything for hillis. I hung out with Dave from ’94 to 2005….I never heard him speak her name. Not once.. But now all a sudden if it gets him noticed he’s all over it. How sad and selfish
This country is diseased with terrible fathers.
That is the gateway drug, brothers and sisters.
But we live in a world where fathers have no rights until a court gives them rights; mom has all custodial rights and unless dad has a ton of money, establishing custodial rights is not possible.
And even if the father does have 5 or 6 thousand dollars for a lawyer, the odds are that he will be reduced to being considered nothing more than an open wallet to a bitter ex who can hold his kids against him & add insane amounts of stress to his life while he has to get a second job to survive after child support is taken…..all for the privilege of seeing his kids every other weekend while some other man (or man after man after man) fucks a woman he still loves in some way in a house that used to be his while raising his children who he barely knows now.
But then again you also have self absorbed pricks who just fail at caring about anyone more than themselves, like I did. Terrible fathers are the gateway drug.
I browsed the Demri Parrott website mentioned above and there are some cool photos and stories there. Some of her friends, Fabiola, Amber and a few others tell a few little stories within the comments. It was cool to read how Layne and Demri were going to get married, and about the dress from Amber’s mom’s shop. Obviously they never did follow through wih a wedding, but it sounds like they always intended to at some point. They must have had an open relationship despite the marriage plans, because I think the story was from ’93. Isn’t that the same year of the photos with Rosheen, whom Demri also had feelings for? I wonder how she fit into that picture. I also enjoyed the photo and description of Demri’s mom, Kathleen. It sounds like they both had/have free spirits and great energy. I hope friends and family do write a book about her someday. She definitely sounds like such a unique, memorable person.
Was just checking in to see if you have checked dem’s facebook page lately?
Jack plasky has posted more pics AND a friend of his has advised he is posting a video of demri soon………
Oh hell yes Leah that would be sweet. Demri deserves her recognition as the true Queen of the Seattle Scene. She is such a facinating person and it will be almost surreal to see her on video. Such a beautiful woman with so much life and soul in her. That is good news. I had read that Jack had her on tape at one of his photo shoots. So that would be nice.
Just wanted to wish Demri a happy birthday and also to let her mom know that I’ve said a prayer for her too. Much love and thanks to Barbra for letting the world know how truly special Demri was.
I just want wish Demri a happy birthday. I can’t believe she would’ve been 44 years old wow. And Barbara I wanna say I really admire you. You overcame your struggles and went through hell with so many of your loving friends dieing around you, its amazing you still have your sanity and your sense of humour in tacked. I’m glad you are on this earth living your life to its fullest. I’m glad you made this wonderful website to set the record strait. There has been so many hurtful and nasty shit that has been written about Demri from horrible haters who have no clue who this beautiful women was. Especially on that find a death death hag site. Unfortunatly mostly women. Anyways thanks a lot. Take care of yourself and your family. Have a good day.
You started this site b/c Demri was unknown in the world, despite how significant she was as a person and in Layne’s life. I recently read that Jerry Cantrell wrote “Heaven Beside You” about his gf of 7 years. I had to search quite a lot to even find her name. I think it is Courtney Clarke? My question is, were you and Demri friends with her? What was she like? It seems given how little info there is about Courtney that perhaps she is not recognized appropriately. Anyway, just curious.
On a separate note, just want to appreciate your site and what you have done again. I have a few friends from long ago (early 902s) and relatives who have come to sad ends, whether by their own hands b/c of drugs or just b/c of the drugs. What you have done here with this site has helped clarify how I feel about them all. They were one person before the drugs and another person after and that is heartbreaking beyond words. I can finally separate the person they became (as that is not them) from the person they were, and honor them. It sounds trite but it’s not. Hard drugs steal a person’s soul. Thank you for your site.
I think Layne unfortunately had a genetic predisposition to addiction. And when he first got high that was it. A very sad story. I think Demri, even though a very vivacious and caring person who had enormous talent and potential, had a chaotic and self destructive streak in her. No one was going to tell her what do period. But it really doesn’t matter anymore. I believe with my whole heart that Layne, Demri, Rosheen, and Mike are still living but are on other side. Trust me they’re happy and healthy. I want to give my condolences to all their love ones, family and friends.
But they’re okay now. It just us that are left here that have to ache and pine for these wonderful beautiful souls. Great site Barbara.
I am going to say a few things that may not be appreciated by all. But I think that it is appropriate, sincere and truthful.
This website would serve the community better if it correctly acknowledged the subject matter with a more complete perspective.
Layne and Demri were intelligent and wise enough to know what the potential outcome would very likely be.
Heroin wasn’t invented in 1989. We all knew what junkies were. And that this drug is bigger than we are. That is a fact
Another fact is that these two people were very bright.
I am not being a fan here, think about them. Brilliant human beings. In doing my homework on this topic, Demri seemed to be the smartest if not the strongest person in the room she was in. Layne never seemed to be in over his head, mentally, in any interview, on any stage.
The obvious problem is so visible though. To be blunt, I ask the question then.
Why did they decide to be so foolish and simple minded? Morons? Absolutely selfish and self involved. Layne staley took a rare gift that I still to this day am in awe of. Not just the voice, or the innovation and creative legacy, but the mental toughness he had to rise up from obscurity and dominate the sound and fabric of music. In the history of music, still today in 2013.
His impressions in music were far ahead of its time. How could an intelligent and sincere man destroy so much? He had people that loved him.
Why was he so blind?
Why was he so careless?
He took his own life and tortured his mother and sister. That is a fact.
Where did this come from? A drug? No, the drugs were the symptom.
What was the problem?
The answer: Phil staley was a terrible father.
Good question.. Let me ask you one.. Have you ever smoked a cig, drank a beer, or smoked weed? I’m willing to bet that unless you are about to be the next pope you have tried something. The amount of illegal things that available to me is absurd imagine if you are Layne Staley.. I think they simply stumbled upon a monster no one person can contain from what I’ve read and seen my friends go through. I know a person that just stold her grandmothers car, drove it to Atlanta to buy herion, flipped it on its top right in the middle of 75, and stolen all she can from friends and family. Before she was just a normal person. It started with her smoking weed and drinking, then taking pills, then when she couldn’t afford the pills she tried herion. It’s a evil spiral that not many make it out of. She reminds me a lot of demri.. Very pretty girl with dark hair that has done modeling. She’s still alive as of right now. I pray for her every day. The point I was trying to make is she told me she never meant to get tangled up in this shit but now that she is she doesn’t have the strength to stop. Shit is really sad.
Smoking weed doesn’t make you do harder things though, you have to WANT to do them and not really care about the consequences. I think it stems from depression.
Hi Eric, I read your post and want to respond with my opinion on why intelligent people end up addicts. Of course it is a complex issue but here is my take. Layne had an absent father that he desperately missed as you pointed out. When you are young famous and rich your world is altered. People want to be around you and provide all things a young man desires. Sex, drugs + constant reassurance of greatness. In the mix is also the belief of youth in that your invincible. OD deaths don’t happen to them but to others. No one wants to say your fucked up and killing yourself by degree. People don’t want to be kicked out of the intimacy of the fame.drugs make people prostitute their souls. Drugs find a crack in a person’s spirit and worms itself in. We are all vulnerable! If you think your not then that is the crack in spirit it enters. The profound message is that it does not discriminate because we all have cracks in spirit. Hopefully Eric this may clarify some of your questions. Blessings cate
@Karolina
Stories like yours really puts ones life into perspective. I truly do not know how good I have it not to have fallen into such a vicious drug or disease. I really feel sorry for you I mean I really don’t know what else to say to someone in your state.. It’s almost cruel that at such a young age you are having to deal with this. These are suppose to be the best years of your life! The ones that you look back on with fondness and think “man those were the days” and I’m sorry that has been taken away from you.. Stay strong and seek help with your problem. Know that a perfect stranger thousands of miles away from you is praying for your well being!! I hope you have a great week, keep listening to the GREAT music that you are, and be happy with WHO you are and f*ck everybody else!
Greetings from the great state of Georgia!!
Joseph
I would like to first apologize for any the mistakes because English isn’t my first language.
I had considered whether or not to write this message privately or simply as a comment. However, I really wanted you to read this and was afraid that a comment would disappear somewhere among the hundreds of other comments. Therefore, I decided to write you a private message, but unfortunately it’s impossible because of some error of the ”webmaster contact”.
I’m from Poland, my name is Karolina and I’m 16 years old (I was born a month before Demri’s passing). I know that I’m still very young and I do not know much about life. Thanks to my older brother, grunge and the entire alternative music from ’90s, mainly from Seattle, have been incorporated into my life. However, only four years ago it had become a real part of my life. At the beginning, I considered the sad stories of Layne, Kurt Cobain and Kristen Pfaff to be unusual and inspiring. I still think that they are, but the older I become, the more I started to perceive these stories differently. I have never been addicted to any stimulants like cigarettes, drugs or alcohol, but anorexia is my addiction. For the last two years, the two sides of my personalities fought against each other – the ill one and the one which wanted me to be normal and enjoy life. Anorexia, to me, is like what drugs were to Layne or Demri. I started becoming thin because I thought it would be great and it would make me happier, but then I realized that it had gone too far. It got to the point where I no longer could control my own behavior and had simply sentenced myself to a slow and cruel death. The other side effects of anorexia are depression and loneliness. I’m a bit envious that you and Darin Lamb had the opportunity to get to know Layne and Demri, but at the same time, I’m even more envious that Layne and Demri had such amazing friends like you two. I really appreciate that you had revealed to us, the fans of Layne and the whole Alice in Chains, your private matters and wonderful memories even though we are complete strangers to you. I truly respect you for that and I hope that someday someone like you or Darin will enter into my life. I have a lot of friends, but I still feel lonely. I have no one truly close to me that would listen to my problems and feelings, and most importantly, would be truly trustworthy.The story of Demri & Layne showed me, that in the face of illness, all people are equal. Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t mean that we should be rejected or despised because misfortune can meet anyone. Everyone has the right to struggle for happiness and thanks to your website, I have decided to battle my anorexia. Life is too short, so being enslaved by something (or someone) does not make any sense. I want to feel free and happy and find joy in my everyday life.
Thank you one more time, Barbara, for your time, your big heart and your willingness to open to others. I don’t know whether or not you will ever read this message, but I want you to know that I am so grateful to you, as a fan of Alice in Chains, Layne, Demri and simply as a human being.
I wish you good health, and I want you to wake up strong and full of hope every single day. Oh, and I’m sorry that this message is sooo long 😉
Sorry for one that it took me so long to respond to your comment. I can not keep up with them all but I do try to respond to the ones that I feel are special. Your comment was special to me because you opened up about your own personal struggle. I personally will never understand anorexia but because I have been thin my whole life and I have been accused of being anorexic when I am not. I know what it’s liked to be judged by your weight.
I am sorry that you have struggled with such a serious addiction. I hope you believe you can be beautiful with out being a size 0? That to me is way to small. I like women with meat on their bones. Demri was tiny but she had hips and a booty. She was not skin and bones and I thought she was adorable.
I have no advice for you. Just know I hear you and I thank you for sharing.
Barbara, I am conscious of my problem and I already took the fight. Fortunately I’m physically healthy – my weight is within the limits of what’s normal Only my soul is still sick. Although it was very difficult for me, I already undertook therapy and I hope it will brings results soon and I will forget about my demons. I appreciate the fact that you read my message.
Joe, I want to thank you very much as well. It is wonderful, that in this world there are still caring and selfless people as you, who are upset about other people’s fate. Thanks for your kind words, advice and prayers. Supporting helps very much in case of this illness and it causes that sick persons feel at least a bit better.
Hey Karolina I saw your posts. I’m sorry you’ve had this horrible disorder in your life. I remember I had two girlfriends that had body image issues as well. Its very ruff. But I’m glad your dealing with it and I hope you’ll pull through this. Its also not easy being a teenager as well, its very hard time for everybody.Just remember you’re a beautiful young lady with huge self worth dont forget that. I’ll pray for you. Take care. Oh by the way I saw you were from Poland. Its a great country and I love the Poles, good people.
I thought I was the only one.
How blessed Layne was to have beautiful people like Demri, Darin and Barbara in his life. So Layne, sure God is all powerful, but did he have that? RIP and I wish Mike would have found you a rehab that day because you had so much more to say.
Unhappy anniversary. (Cue balloons & confetti)
I, too, have suffered from eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia. Have faith, it gets better, though I sometimes have a relapse. If you get the best of help, they can help you in so many ways. I’ve never gotten that help, hence the relapses. Continue on with your courageous battle.
Thank you for answering my question Isabelle. My daughter’s name is Isabelle and spelled the same!
Will someone please tell me who dave hillis is? And who he was in Demri’s life.
Dave Hillis is a music producer. I’m not sure what kind of relationship he had with Demri. I can guess they were friends by the way they look in that photo.
I can assure you there was no relationship between Dave and Demri. They were just friends. He’s my husband. I would know lol
Ouch! A little jealousy nerve struck, over Demri? Loll….she was amazing:)
Rest in peace, Demri. 18 years today. ; ;
Unresolved pain is the beginning, middle and end of any kind of addiction — whether it be street drugs, designer drugs, pharmaceuticals, alcohol, food, porn, sex… You name it. If you’ve got pain you refuse to take to God, it WILL take you down. It is the devil’s carving knife. He’s sharpening it and he looks hungry. Nobody is strong enough to face him alone.
I’ll never understand peoples’ need to label folk that get addicted as “lost” or “in pain”…what about if you just liked to get high;and because you were 20 years old,you thought the stories of pain and death didn’t apply?…Until they did.Because that is what happens to most addicts…they make a mistake.
I just want to say I appreciate you sharing some of your past with us Barbara.. some of it sad, some happy, but also allot of it exciting and unforgetable, just to have known one of the most talented and unique singers of all times is great in itself. Also knowing a beautiful person like Demri was a honor. You have loss so much, you have to be a strong person to endure all that, if you knew then what you know now would you do it again?
Another year gone by…
Just listened to some AIC and ended up on this site. RIP Layne, Demri, and everyone else.
It kind of feels like that era never really got to be what it could’ve been. And yet, the music of then still sounds as current as anything else of now.
At least we still have recordings of what was.
Oh yes I agree… so much potential, cut so short 🙁 I was listening to Mother Love Bone a while ago and Andy… Damn. So much lost potential My heart aches for our lost 90s heroes.
The rsason is because you’ve slept on it all night.
Back pain numbness is not something that should be taken lightly
by any means. However, it is not necessary to associate common
everyday feelings as symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis.
(has a catagory all its own)…I guess everyone else knows about Dave Hillis and Demri’s relationship, but me??!!
There was definitely no relationship between them. They were good friends. I would know, I’m his wife
Here’s one for Darin. When did you and Layne meet? Have you just been friends since you where kids? Or did you meet him later?
looking forward to seeing the video Leah!
Hi Barbara,
I had a reply from someone called Elizabeth on facebook who knows Jack Plasky.
She said Jack is going through hundreds of hours of video at the moment but he has a video of Demri dancing with a snake and thats the one he will post!!
Awesome hey!
hey, leah! do you already has this video? i got excited listening to new demri stuff 🙂
Just wanted to say hi Barb, got a little overwhelmed a minute ago browsing a website that was supposed to be about Layne but people were commenting as usual about Demri and it makes me sick and so angry. I became a Demri fan long ago. I quickly got off that site. Can’t stand to read mean things.
RIP BEAUTIFUL DEMRI
yeah. seems hillis only ever does anything for hillis. I hung out with Dave from ’94 to 2005….I never heard him speak her name. Not once.. But now all a sudden if it gets him noticed he’s all over it. How sad and selfish
Spent the entire night on this site and read so so much in remembrance of Layne on this sad anniversary
This country is diseased with terrible fathers.
That is the gateway drug, brothers and sisters.
But we live in a world where fathers have no rights until a court gives them rights; mom has all custodial rights and unless dad has a ton of money, establishing custodial rights is not possible.
And even if the father does have 5 or 6 thousand dollars for a lawyer, the odds are that he will be reduced to being considered nothing more than an open wallet to a bitter ex who can hold his kids against him & add insane amounts of stress to his life while he has to get a second job to survive after child support is taken…..all for the privilege of seeing his kids every other weekend while some other man (or man after man after man) fucks a woman he still loves in some way in a house that used to be his while raising his children who he barely knows now.
But then again you also have self absorbed pricks who just fail at caring about anyone more than themselves, like I did. Terrible fathers are the gateway drug.
Terrible mothers and fathers
I browsed the Demri Parrott website mentioned above and there are some cool photos and stories there. Some of her friends, Fabiola, Amber and a few others tell a few little stories within the comments. It was cool to read how Layne and Demri were going to get married, and about the dress from Amber’s mom’s shop. Obviously they never did follow through wih a wedding, but it sounds like they always intended to at some point. They must have had an open relationship despite the marriage plans, because I think the story was from ’93. Isn’t that the same year of the photos with Rosheen, whom Demri also had feelings for? I wonder how she fit into that picture. I also enjoyed the photo and description of Demri’s mom, Kathleen. It sounds like they both had/have free spirits and great energy. I hope friends and family do write a book about her someday. She definitely sounds like such a unique, memorable person.
Hi barbara,
Was just checking in to see if you have checked dem’s facebook page lately?
Jack plasky has posted more pics AND a friend of his has advised he is posting a video of demri soon………
I know ur keen to see anything new esp a video x
Oh hell yes Leah that would be sweet. Demri deserves her recognition as the true Queen of the Seattle Scene. She is such a facinating person and it will be almost surreal to see her on video. Such a beautiful woman with so much life and soul in her. That is good news. I had read that Jack had her on tape at one of his photo shoots. So that would be nice.
Who was Dave Hillis?
Just wanted to wish Demri a happy birthday and also to let her mom know that I’ve said a prayer for her too. Much love and thanks to Barbra for letting the world know how truly special Demri was.
I just want wish Demri a happy birthday. I can’t believe she would’ve been 44 years old wow. And Barbara I wanna say I really admire you. You overcame your struggles and went through hell with so many of your loving friends dieing around you, its amazing you still have your sanity and your sense of humour in tacked. I’m glad you are on this earth living your life to its fullest. I’m glad you made this wonderful website to set the record strait. There has been so many hurtful and nasty shit that has been written about Demri from horrible haters who have no clue who this beautiful women was. Especially on that find a death death hag site. Unfortunatly mostly women. Anyways thanks a lot. Take care of yourself and your family. Have a good day.
Meant to say early 90s.
You started this site b/c Demri was unknown in the world, despite how significant she was as a person and in Layne’s life. I recently read that Jerry Cantrell wrote “Heaven Beside You” about his gf of 7 years. I had to search quite a lot to even find her name. I think it is Courtney Clarke? My question is, were you and Demri friends with her? What was she like? It seems given how little info there is about Courtney that perhaps she is not recognized appropriately. Anyway, just curious.
On a separate note, just want to appreciate your site and what you have done again. I have a few friends from long ago (early 902s) and relatives who have come to sad ends, whether by their own hands b/c of drugs or just b/c of the drugs. What you have done here with this site has helped clarify how I feel about them all. They were one person before the drugs and another person after and that is heartbreaking beyond words. I can finally separate the person they became (as that is not them) from the person they were, and honor them. It sounds trite but it’s not. Hard drugs steal a person’s soul. Thank you for your site.
I think Layne unfortunately had a genetic predisposition to addiction. And when he first got high that was it. A very sad story. I think Demri, even though a very vivacious and caring person who had enormous talent and potential, had a chaotic and self destructive streak in her. No one was going to tell her what do period. But it really doesn’t matter anymore. I believe with my whole heart that Layne, Demri, Rosheen, and Mike are still living but are on other side. Trust me they’re happy and healthy. I want to give my condolences to all their love ones, family and friends.
But they’re okay now. It just us that are left here that have to ache and pine for these wonderful beautiful souls. Great site Barbara.
I am going to say a few things that may not be appreciated by all. But I think that it is appropriate, sincere and truthful.
This website would serve the community better if it correctly acknowledged the subject matter with a more complete perspective.
Layne and Demri were intelligent and wise enough to know what the potential outcome would very likely be.
Heroin wasn’t invented in 1989. We all knew what junkies were. And that this drug is bigger than we are. That is a fact
Another fact is that these two people were very bright.
I am not being a fan here, think about them. Brilliant human beings. In doing my homework on this topic, Demri seemed to be the smartest if not the strongest person in the room she was in. Layne never seemed to be in over his head, mentally, in any interview, on any stage.
The obvious problem is so visible though. To be blunt, I ask the question then.
Why did they decide to be so foolish and simple minded? Morons? Absolutely selfish and self involved. Layne staley took a rare gift that I still to this day am in awe of. Not just the voice, or the innovation and creative legacy, but the mental toughness he had to rise up from obscurity and dominate the sound and fabric of music. In the history of music, still today in 2013.
His impressions in music were far ahead of its time. How could an intelligent and sincere man destroy so much? He had people that loved him.
Why was he so blind?
Why was he so careless?
He took his own life and tortured his mother and sister. That is a fact.
Where did this come from? A drug? No, the drugs were the symptom.
What was the problem?
The answer: Phil staley was a terrible father.
Our society is diseased with terrible fathers.
Good question.. Let me ask you one.. Have you ever smoked a cig, drank a beer, or smoked weed? I’m willing to bet that unless you are about to be the next pope you have tried something. The amount of illegal things that available to me is absurd imagine if you are Layne Staley.. I think they simply stumbled upon a monster no one person can contain from what I’ve read and seen my friends go through. I know a person that just stold her grandmothers car, drove it to Atlanta to buy herion, flipped it on its top right in the middle of 75, and stolen all she can from friends and family. Before she was just a normal person. It started with her smoking weed and drinking, then taking pills, then when she couldn’t afford the pills she tried herion. It’s a evil spiral that not many make it out of. She reminds me a lot of demri.. Very pretty girl with dark hair that has done modeling. She’s still alive as of right now. I pray for her every day. The point I was trying to make is she told me she never meant to get tangled up in this shit but now that she is she doesn’t have the strength to stop. Shit is really sad.
Smoking weed doesn’t make you do harder things though, you have to WANT to do them and not really care about the consequences. I think it stems from depression.
Hi Eric, I read your post and want to respond with my opinion on why intelligent people end up addicts. Of course it is a complex issue but here is my take. Layne had an absent father that he desperately missed as you pointed out. When you are young famous and rich your world is altered. People want to be around you and provide all things a young man desires. Sex, drugs + constant reassurance of greatness. In the mix is also the belief of youth in that your invincible. OD deaths don’t happen to them but to others. No one wants to say your fucked up and killing yourself by degree. People don’t want to be kicked out of the intimacy of the fame.drugs make people prostitute their souls. Drugs find a crack in a person’s spirit and worms itself in. We are all vulnerable! If you think your not then that is the crack in spirit it enters. The profound message is that it does not discriminate because we all have cracks in spirit. Hopefully Eric this may clarify some of your questions. Blessings cate
Amen, I agree completely.
@Karolina
Stories like yours really puts ones life into perspective. I truly do not know how good I have it not to have fallen into such a vicious drug or disease. I really feel sorry for you I mean I really don’t know what else to say to someone in your state.. It’s almost cruel that at such a young age you are having to deal with this. These are suppose to be the best years of your life! The ones that you look back on with fondness and think “man those were the days” and I’m sorry that has been taken away from you.. Stay strong and seek help with your problem. Know that a perfect stranger thousands of miles away from you is praying for your well being!! I hope you have a great week, keep listening to the GREAT music that you are, and be happy with WHO you are and f*ck everybody else!
Greetings from the great state of Georgia!!
Joseph
Dear Barbara,
I would like to first apologize for any the mistakes because English isn’t my first language.
I had considered whether or not to write this message privately or simply as a comment. However, I really wanted you to read this and was afraid that a comment would disappear somewhere among the hundreds of other comments. Therefore, I decided to write you a private message, but unfortunately it’s impossible because of some error of the ”webmaster contact”.
I’m from Poland, my name is Karolina and I’m 16 years old (I was born a month before Demri’s passing). I know that I’m still very young and I do not know much about life. Thanks to my older brother, grunge and the entire alternative music from ’90s, mainly from Seattle, have been incorporated into my life. However, only four years ago it had become a real part of my life. At the beginning, I considered the sad stories of Layne, Kurt Cobain and Kristen Pfaff to be unusual and inspiring. I still think that they are, but the older I become, the more I started to perceive these stories differently. I have never been addicted to any stimulants like cigarettes, drugs or alcohol, but anorexia is my addiction. For the last two years, the two sides of my personalities fought against each other – the ill one and the one which wanted me to be normal and enjoy life. Anorexia, to me, is like what drugs were to Layne or Demri. I started becoming thin because I thought it would be great and it would make me happier, but then I realized that it had gone too far. It got to the point where I no longer could control my own behavior and had simply sentenced myself to a slow and cruel death. The other side effects of anorexia are depression and loneliness. I’m a bit envious that you and Darin Lamb had the opportunity to get to know Layne and Demri, but at the same time, I’m even more envious that Layne and Demri had such amazing friends like you two. I really appreciate that you had revealed to us, the fans of Layne and the whole Alice in Chains, your private matters and wonderful memories even though we are complete strangers to you. I truly respect you for that and I hope that someday someone like you or Darin will enter into my life. I have a lot of friends, but I still feel lonely. I have no one truly close to me that would listen to my problems and feelings, and most importantly, would be truly trustworthy.The story of Demri & Layne showed me, that in the face of illness, all people are equal. Everyone makes mistakes and it doesn’t mean that we should be rejected or despised because misfortune can meet anyone. Everyone has the right to struggle for happiness and thanks to your website, I have decided to battle my anorexia. Life is too short, so being enslaved by something (or someone) does not make any sense. I want to feel free and happy and find joy in my everyday life.
Thank you one more time, Barbara, for your time, your big heart and your willingness to open to others. I don’t know whether or not you will ever read this message, but I want you to know that I am so grateful to you, as a fan of Alice in Chains, Layne, Demri and simply as a human being.
I wish you good health, and I want you to wake up strong and full of hope every single day. Oh, and I’m sorry that this message is sooo long 😉
Love and greeting from Poland,
Karolina ♥
Karolina,
Sorry for one that it took me so long to respond to your comment. I can not keep up with them all but I do try to respond to the ones that I feel are special. Your comment was special to me because you opened up about your own personal struggle. I personally will never understand anorexia but because I have been thin my whole life and I have been accused of being anorexic when I am not. I know what it’s liked to be judged by your weight.
I am sorry that you have struggled with such a serious addiction. I hope you believe you can be beautiful with out being a size 0? That to me is way to small. I like women with meat on their bones. Demri was tiny but she had hips and a booty. She was not skin and bones and I thought she was adorable.
I have no advice for you. Just know I hear you and I thank you for sharing.
Barbara
Barbara, I am conscious of my problem and I already took the fight. Fortunately I’m physically healthy – my weight is within the limits of what’s normal Only my soul is still sick. Although it was very difficult for me, I already undertook therapy and I hope it will brings results soon and I will forget about my demons. I appreciate the fact that you read my message.
Joe, I want to thank you very much as well. It is wonderful, that in this world there are still caring and selfless people as you, who are upset about other people’s fate. Thanks for your kind words, advice and prayers. Supporting helps very much in case of this illness and it causes that sick persons feel at least a bit better.
Greetings
Karolina
Hey Karolina I saw your posts. I’m sorry you’ve had this horrible disorder in your life. I remember I had two girlfriends that had body image issues as well. Its very ruff. But I’m glad your dealing with it and I hope you’ll pull through this. Its also not easy being a teenager as well, its very hard time for everybody.Just remember you’re a beautiful young lady with huge self worth dont forget that. I’ll pray for you. Take care. Oh by the way I saw you were from Poland. Its a great country and I love the Poles, good people.
Just remembering Layne today and wishing that he had beaten down the demons that haunted him. RIP Layne Staley
I thought I was the only one.
How blessed Layne was to have beautiful people like Demri, Darin and Barbara in his life. So Layne, sure God is all powerful, but did he have that? RIP and I wish Mike would have found you a rehab that day because you had so much more to say.
Unhappy anniversary. (Cue balloons & confetti)
I, too, have suffered from eating disorders, anorexia and bulimia. Have faith, it gets better, though I sometimes have a relapse. If you get the best of help, they can help you in so many ways. I’ve never gotten that help, hence the relapses. Continue on with your courageous battle.
Meant for dear Karolina.