Anniversary of Dem’s passing & a note from her Mom
189 comments Oct 30, 2012 | Demri, Featured, gallery, Layne Staley, Mike Starr, Personal Stories, Pictures, Tributes, Xana
Demri Lara Parrott – February 22nd 1969 – October 29th 1996
Oct 29th is a day a lot of us who knew and loved Demri will never forget. I know I will personally miss Demri as long as I live… but today marks the day that Demri was taken from us ALL forever. Today the site received a comment from Demri’s Mom Kathleen which is so special because she thought of us and wanted to let us know how she felt today and I personally wanted everyone who watches this site.. friends, fans and people who loved her… a chance to hear from her Demri’s Mom today.
Kathleen’s comment was left on one of my older posts.. so I just wanted to share it so that everyone would get a chance to read it…because I know a lot of us love and respect Kathleen a lot.
Remember life is short and so special..love your loved ones today because we might not have a tomorrow. Tell them you love them every chance you get!
A loving comment from Kathleen (Demri”s Mother) after she ran into Darin Lamb and found out about my website for the first time… what a blessing.
Demri’s Mom – Kathleen Austin and Demri’s 2 dearest friends Cody, Mara and Fabiola – 2010
Comment From: Kathleen 10-11-12
“Hi Barb,
I ran into Darin a few days back always nothing but love when we see each other. He directed me to your site which is beautiful. People don’t seem to understand how much Demri suffered the last 2-1/2 years of her life spent mostly in hospital several times on life support given hours to live or that she didn’t complain and was always more concerned about others than herself.
While it warms my heart that people want to know about her, care about her, love her and most of all have not forgotten her genuinely unique gifts. As her mother, when I am missing her most all I have to do is google………..I am so happy you made it, I tried to direct Rosheen’s Mother Tina to your site but she didn’t get it so I will continue to try. Thanks for setting the record when it needs to be…………K”
COMMENT LEFT ON ORIGINAL POST: DARIN LAMBS GUEST POST – ONE OF LAYNE AND DEMRIS BEST FRIENDS AND MY EX-BOYFRIEND
Comment From: Kathleen 10-29-12
“On this anniversary of Dem’s passing I just want to thank all of you especially you Barbara, Darin and Fabiola for making these bittersweet days a little brighter….when I am aching and missing her I can come here…
.Perhaps my niece will write about Dem’s life it seems some folks are interested….but I’ll need you guys for those times….we were so close as you know…the misinformation and assumptions out there just doesn’t get it…thanks for truth…love you kathleen”
COMMENT LEFT ON ORIGINAL POST: DARIN’S GUEST POST – COMMENTS
I took this picture with my web camera.. the picture was a photo copy taped to my wall..
Demri Layne and Darin Lamb
I love this picture of Dem.. her hair.. her style..her attitude and her smile.. everything that made her Demri is in this picture. She just GLOWS!!
Demri looking sweet and beautiful.. she was such a natural beauty. She did not need makeup to shine. She was perfect just the way she was…
Demri could pull of any look and this picture is a great example of her versatility as a model. She loved to model and I love this picture of her…
Demri just being Demri..
Rest in Peace Sweet Girl – Demri Lara Parrott 1969-1996
ROSHEEN RAUGI
Rosheen and Demri – RIP Rosheen Raugi June 19th 1997 — Rosheen was my best friend. We grew up together and we lost her 9 months after Demri. Demri and Rosheen loved each other very much and I loved them both.
Photos by Soopy
Rosheen and Demri – RIP Rosheen Raugi June 19th 1997
Rosheen Raugi and Demri Parrott
MORE PICS OF DEMRI AND FRIENDS
Demri and Xana La Fuente by Jack Plasky
DEMRI AND LAYNE AS TRUE YOUNGINS!
Demri Parrott and Layne Staley – Love Hate Love
Another favorite Demri being Demri…
More pictures of Demri can be found on my Flickr account at: RememberingDemri
Dearest Dem, I will forever miss you..you silly, sweet, wild and precious fairy child.
I will also never let you be forgotten as long as my heart beats….this website was made in memory of you, Layne and Rosheen..and now sadly, Mike too.
I started writing this journal online because writing about losing you all… has helped to heal my broken heart when nothing else did. I was encouraged even more to see that people actually came here to read it and asked for more…❤
This website was also made with the AIC fans in mind and to introduce you to them…the real Demri not just the girlfriend of Layne Staley.
Now to think… there’s Demri fan sites and Facebook groups!? So crazy cool and I know you’d agree…or I wouldnt of told my stories or shared your pictures.
I want people to know that you also had an amazingly strong and smart Mom who not only cherished you but also tragically lost you to a demon that she was powerless to fight against and so were you.. that she lost you far too soon.. which broke her heart and not long after…she tragically lost your brothers too….Your life may of taken a wrong turn and you got too lost too find your way back but that was not your whole story. I know that.
You also made people smile and giggle and anyone who was ever part of your life… no matter how long or how short.. will NEVER forget you.
Guys wanted to be noticed by you and most girls wanted to be like you or be your friend!
You were never just “Layne Staley’s girlfriend”… you were definitely an energy and a force all your own. You are so missed.
I also want to be straight up about why Demri, Layne, Rosheen and Mike are gone now… they’re stories should never be romanticized.
These talented people were all under the thumb of an evil drug addiction that tortured them and eventually ended their lives and heroin is not a drug you try once so if you want to be another tragic statistic..go ahead and “try it only once” but I’ll tell you from my own personal experience being there when people have tried that it for the first time and very few successfully do that.
The next time I’d run into those people who just meant to try it once would almost always be totally caught up and addicted. Most of us refused to turn someone on for the first time. Demri tried to warn me too and I also ignored her and lost years of my life.. that I can barely remember and doing almost everything I had always promised myself that I’D NEVER DO… I EVENTUALLY ENDED UP DOING THINGS I COULD NEVER OF IMAGINED… ALWAYS JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE THAT FUCKING EVIL ADDICTION!! ITS NOT A GLAMOROUS DRUG AND ITS NOT SOME MYSTERIOUS ROCK STAR SHIT.
ITS JUST FUCKED UP BULLSHIT! YOU NEED TO STAY FAR FAR AWAY FROM!!
The sad parts of all of our lives are the MOST important cautionary tales on this website.. written for someone who needs to hear it or some kid or young adult who thinks they just wanna try heroin someday… Do not do it!
It is an extremely powerful demon drug that can steal your life and your inner strength faster then you’ll have control of….
Heroin is a beast of a drug all it’s own… in short or in layman’s terms..it ruins your ability to be naturally happy. It floods your brain’s receptors with nothing but the good feeling chemicals and then when you try to say “OK, I’m done I’ve had enough”..Well, too bad…because your body and your brain will fight and lie to you..Just one more time it will say…you’ll promise yourself over and over.. until you eventually just give up and can’t fight it anymore because you get so violently sick.
Then bring on the lying to hide it from everyone who loves you, bring on the HORRIBLE shame and actual disgust for yourself for turning into everything you had always looked down on or at least never thought you’d become..a junkie. Great work and it happens faster than you know and very few actually survive this mistake.
Believe me because I know. I watched so many people either die or just become such a broken mess they probably wish they were dead. Shadows of their former selves and it happens faster then you know unless you’ve seen it happen before… then you know exactly what I mean.
Pretty soon you’re just doing it to feel normal and function and you don’t even get high anymore or getting high gets harder to accomplish without having to do more then usual..and rarely can you even afford to get well…but that is also how some addicts accidentally overdose..just trying to feel it or after they’ve gotten clean for awhile..like after getting out of rehab, jail or detox and then they relapse and overdose because their tolerance has gone way down and they accidentally do too much.. That’s probably almost 80% of the reasons why an addict will overdose. Or they try to do 3x what they usually do or something stupid like that.
There are also the addicts who just seem to overdose all the time and I don’t know if their bodies are not built to handle it or what but there’s always “that girl” or “that guy” that no one wants to get high around or with because they know they might end up giving them CPR by the end of the night… and let me tell you when you have someone’s life in YOUR hands… that’s traumatizing. For life.
When someone you care about turns blue and stops breathing… that will mess with you forever. I have never had anyone die on me but I have given more people then I can actually count or remember CPR and I was never afraid to call the ambulance either.
The EMTS never did anything but save your friends life. They didnt want people to be too scared to call them. I dont know how it is nowadays though. Hopefully it’s still like that because its important that addicts be able to call for help without worrying they’re gonna go to jail.
There are very few happy endings for heroin addicts. The statistic for heroin addicts who get clean and stay clean are actually depressing and shocking. Most heroin addicts who manage to get clean.. will also eventually relapse. Heroin usually either ends in jail, life long opiate replacement programs like methadone or suboxone or death.
It ruins your health and your self confidence, your self esteem and your creativity. It tries to steal your life and the sparkle or energy that flows within us all. Do not let it get YOU! That’s what all 4 of my friends whose lifes are over would tell you all who are hear reading this.
If you’re saying to yourself “Ahh.. I KNOW…I just wanna try it once…BELIEVE ME I am not stupid” it doesnt usually end up working out like that. Heroin isn’t a “social drug” that you experiment with.
If your brain and body like it… your brain and your body will talk you into trying it again.. and again and before you know it…and pretty soon you can’t stop it…and even if your brain and your body agree with your heart…drug addiction is cunning. There are very few who are strong enough to keep up the fight for as long it will take to stop completely and for a lifetime. It can sneak back in and take over even faster then it did the first time.
Some statistics:
- In 2017, 81,000 Americans tried heroin for the first time.
- Over 15,500 Americans died from a heroin overdose in 2018.
I know that this might sound discouraging for the addicts whose reading this… but if they’re heroin addicts… then they already know the harsh truth.
YES, IT IS POSSIBLE to get and stay clean but you have to do it for yourself. You have to completely get away from your environment you used in… like the whole city… you gotta find all new friends and you need to want it more then anything else!!
BECAUSE YOU ARE SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!!
SORRY, but no one I’ve known has ever STAYED clean for someone else’s sake, because they’ve been shamed or guilt tripped into getting clean…
Sure, that might work for a short while but ultimately addicts need more incentives in their life then how someone else feels… and those two things shame and guilt can also completly back fire on family members who always seem to try this route too and it will just cause their addict to go deeper and farther into their addiction and they may begin to isolate themselves emotionally and physically away from the people who made them feel that way because they don’t wanna let them down anymore or let them see the disgusting mess they know they’ve become.. so they’ll just remove themselves from their lives instead.. breaking everyone’s hearts including their own.
Addicts in your life should never be seen as selfish assholes.. most are actually just broken and sad and while they may come off as being selfish because they won’t get clean for you… most are just not equipped to know HOW to get clean or are too scared to try. It usually has nothing to do with how much they love YOU. Especially if you’re their parents, siblings or children. Believe me they love you!! It has nothing to do with you why they can’t get clean.
I also do NOT recommend enabling or helping addicts stay in their addiction by loaning them money or letting them stay with you.. especially if their addiction is messing up your own daily life…but I also don’t recommend calling them names or hating on them either… they do that enough to themselves already. Believe me. Just let them know you’ll be there when they’re ready to get clean.
Every story is different so I can’t claim to say this is the best advice for every person with an addict in their lives. Get help for yourself from someone whose been there or a professional and they can help you learn how to handle your specific situation better.
It will take a different catalyst for every addict to finally take that leap off the cliff and get help…some will need to be love bombed, some will need tough love… jail is not the answer… but ALL will need the help of people who understand them and won’t judge them and a very strong and loving support system, also time away from their old friends, sometimes family and the places they’ve used in is crucial and they all need to want it at least enough to try it one day and then hopefully one more day… and they will need to learn new tools to cope with their new reality and how to live their new life clean without the old faithful emotional and physical buffer of opiates.
As mean and selfish as it may sound for an addict to abandon their loved ones… THAT’S exactly what I am talking about! This drug is so powerful and addicting that people will keep using… even when they’re slowly killing themselves, ruining their lives and hurting the people they love the most! Their own Children, Parents, best friends, partners and lovers do not usually stand a chance against it.
Addiction can change a person’s priorities and also put huge dent in their moral compass… even having children isn’t enough for some addicts.. the one love that people cherish the most in their lives. Their children. So heartbreaking for everyone.
Opiate Addiction is selfish to the core. Addicts not necessarily. Depends on the person but most would do anything to be all that their families wanted for and from them but addicts can get so far gone and lost… that they can’t see the light at the end of the heroin tunnel anymore… and heroin has become their everything. Heroin becomes their lover, their mother, their friend…. and a life without it again… can seems totally unrealistic and near impossible to ALOT of addicts if not all and that may sound stupid, heartless of them but most addicts I’ve known are also the most sensitive, loving, non-judgmental and wisest people I’ve known.
I’ve also met some true asshole addicts… but they were usually born that way. Heroin doesnt turn you into an asshole. You do that on your own! That is a horrible excuse some addicts may use to treat people badly, steal from people they know or physically hurt people.. that’s all on them still.
Ok, I’ve said enough here… I hope I help someone with my stories. That would mean everything to me.
I am good today but I did have to leave Seattle and start a whole new life away from everyone I knew.
I feel empathy for all addicts. Doesnt mean I want them in my life. I am here to support if I can but a simple chat is as far as I’ll go. I am not strong enough to deal with addicts bullshit anymore. Their pain or their struggle. For my own sobriety I need to stay away from addicts. Addicts are a triggers for me so 12 step meetings are not good for me but they work for a lot of people at least in the beginning stages they worked for me too. Try whatever it takes and if you’re NOT an addict… then all you have to do… is never try it in the first place!!!
Tutus and combat boots forever!
~ Barbara
This website is dedicated to Demri Parrott, Layne Staley, Mike Starr and Rosheen Raugi with love and for anyone who ever thinks they wanna try it just once for fun.. I will speak for us all in saying… we hope you read this and change your minds.
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Thank you. ~ Barbara
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I never met either of them but for the last year or so I’ve been soo drawn to both of them . Thanks for all the pictures and stories!! Truly sad ending for both of them and everyone that loved them !!
beautiful post, beautiful website and beautiful comment thread . i hope all the people who shared their stories here are doing well and i pray for those who have lost their battles and for their families as well. thank you Barbara if you see this for sharing all this information. i was born after demri’s passing but reading about her and seeing her photos is truly enchanting. there is something so special about her. so thank you again for all this and hope you are well.
The reason Demri always stood out to me was that was always Demri. She very much held her own identity and path. Being in a relationship w/ Layne changed none of that. The opposite was true for so many other women in a similar position/relationship in Seattle at that time. No one had a bad thing to say about her and honestly believe she’s in that extreme minority of human beings that are inherently and intrinsically GOOD people. Layne knew this and it’s why her passing just crippled him.
Thank you for this enlightening website (I am an AIC fan), but most importantly, thank you for telling the truth about heroin and the catastrophe that follows it, you have done an outstanding job of scaring those who never tried it once, and as a result have saved countless lives, and saved families tragic pain and sorrow. Thank you for that!
are you Barbara, sure that your friend Rosheen died in 1997? Demri died in October 1997, and you say that Rosheen died six months later. Not trying to get anything out of you, no anger, but if what you say is true, and I believe you, Rosheen would’ve passed in April 1998. God bless them both, may both be in Heaven with G0D’s good graces falling upon them.
Demri died in oct 1996 and Rosheen died in 1997
Some people say that, on tour, Layne ran out of coke, and Demri went looking but found Herion instead. She had been using off and on for a few months. Layne tried it, loved it. Since it didn’t kill them at their first try, which it does to many, they continued on with it. But that black cloud, which they couldn’t see in those early days, hovered over them both. Layne continued touring, they both continued the drugs. Their friends warned against it, rehab for both many times. Then Demri starts to get sick, and she’s in the hospital many times, her heart, her lungs. Surgeries on her. More rehab for both. Layne wants to quit, Demri doesn’t, she has developed a fatalistic attitude towards her life. She believes her body is so damaged, which it may have been, that, why quit? But in continuing with heroin and coke, she damaged her body more, to the point of no return. At that point, once the pig valve is in place, and so many surgeries, and pain, she continues to go for the drugs to soothe and medicate her misery. Layne tries his best to help, but she won’t listen, her body probably being beyond help at this point, and telling Layne, let me go, it’s too painful, just let me go. Layne not accepting this, but he’s starting to feel the pain also. They both go through hell, together and apart, but the love they shared keeps them together, not as a couple, but as two people who will never leave one another, no matter what. Yes, they had other loves, yes, they were not dating at the time of her death, yes, Demri was off on a jag, staying with someone else. Why wouldn’t she stay with Layne, or anyone, always running, to and fro, even before she got sick? Barbara couldn’t answer that either, and I thank her for her response on a previous post. Demri had family, many friends, and Layne, but she kept on running to the end. It was her choice, I’m sure if someone could have stopped her, they would have done so. They’d have taken her by the arms, and said,
“Stop!! Just stop!!” But she probably would have wriggled free, and shouted, “F you!” “My life is my own! I’ll do what I want!” She was her own being, she did what she wanted, to the point that her tiny body couldn’t take it anymore. God bless her, and God bless Layne, not just because I feel for them both, but because I hope that both are pain free in Heaven. Having the time of their lives, without drugs, and living things up with harmony, peace, and love. And their angel wings.
I didn’t know any of these. Thank you for sharing, although I don’t know if you revealed way too many private details.
Anyway… I feel for both of them. What a hard an painful situation. I feels like Demri realised too late and by protecting everyone and trying to avoid them any further pain, she decided to leave.
When did you lose hope, though? Was it the pressure she felt?
It seems that Demri and Layne took pleasure in hurting one another until it got to be too much. She had affairs with other men and women, he had his own affairs with women. She introduced him to heroin, though he probably was doing other drugs before her, such as coke. They both wanted to live a normal life, get married, but the drugs stood in the way. So did Layne’s fame, which Demri felt sucked into, although she always tried to maintain her own identity away from Layne. They both were on different drugs by the time Dirt came out, and it only grew worse for them both, though they still loved one another. But she went one way for love, he another. But they were always connected, and when she passed, so did Layne’s spirit. His body took a while to die, but his spirit lived on, as did Demri’s, after her passing. How can two people that loved one another so much come to this, is a question that all of us fans have asked at different times. I believe that although Layne loved her, and Demri loved him, they both had their own agendas for life, which unfortunately didn’t mesh in the final turn of life. They both died alone, I know Demri’s mother and Aunt were with her, but in truth, everyone dies alone. And we all know about Layne’s death, alone in his apartment for weeks before anyone found him. Demri, Layne said, appeared to him before his death, so maybe he wasn’t so alone. I hope so. Anyways, just some comments from me, a no one, to leave for anyone to read, so close to the Christmas holiday. God bless you all.
Dear Barbara, I wrote this on Darrin’s page, but I’m writing to you again on this one, though they are probably all one and the same. I was wondering how Demri and Layne’s moms were doing, esp. at this time of year. I know Mrs. Austin has lost more than Demri, may God Bless her, and Layne’s mom has a grandchild, or grandchildren, by now. Please let them know that they are being thought about, and prayed for, and wishes for a Happy Christmas. The same to you, Barbara, Merry Christmas to you and your family. Your site has been great in all the information that’s been released, but I just wanted to say to you and all, Merry Christmas.
Question: Did Demri ever drive a car? If so, what kind. Or did others drive her to where she needed to go? Did she have a license?
Barbara, thank you for replying to my post of 5/22. It means so much to me. Again thank you. And thank you for your website. Much love to you.
Layne and Demri in the Sea of Sorrow video. Yes, she’s there.
not demri….will try and find the link to the post that says she was not available/she and Layne not together at the time.
Why did Layne rely so much on Demri? Yes, she was so beautiful, and the love of his life. But Demri seemed to live an existance of from here to there, no where to run, but her mom had a home waiting just for her. She was loved by many, but always on the run, Layne got her and him a house, but she’d stay only a few nights, never moving in. Why? Was she running scared? Scared of what? She had her friends, and Layne, who made sure someone was always there to look after her. Many people looked after her, while Layne was on tour. But why? Yes, she introduced Layne to heroin, yes, they both got caught up in it, but she didn’t want to stop, though Layne tried. She wanted the 27 club, and she got it, much to everyone who loved her, bringing them such sorrow. I just wish that they both had survived, Layne marrying her, but it seems that she didn’t want to get married. She did what she wanted to do, and the friends she left behind are crying at her memory.
Yes, Laura very, very true you basically nailed it. She was constantly on the run..not sure it was running scared but running for sure… maybe she was afraid of missing out or just looking for the next thing to stimulate her… I have no clue what it was but I definitely could NOT keep up with her and whenever I tried… or whoever tried… we all would end up just as sick, lost and confused and most of us would tap out. She never tapped it seemed.. no matter how horrible the circumstances got she could deal with it. Crazy. I wouldnt call her suicidal but definitely self destructive. Poor girl. Such a sad story. Demri always and forever a wild wood pixie.
I meant she never *tapped out* not “tapped it” Ugh! Typos
Great to see you on here. Thought the site was ‘abandoned’ but I know life gets in the way. Hope you write that book about the two of them and/or those times! Layne and Demri were certainly worth knowing and there is so little about them out there. Hope the families will at some point be more forthcoming as well. Thank you for this website and your time.
Mrs. Austin, you tell of how Demri suffered, how she had gifts, it was her calling in life to teach and not to learn and to give unconditional love to all, yet you put her grandmother and the headstone that she made for Demri, down. Yes, families fight, a lot, but in death should not peace be made between everyone? Unconditional love? Does that not spread to one’s own family? Was that not what Demri was trying to say? Love everyone? I know you’ve lost several, so hard to take, but your only daughter was trying to teach unconditional love for everyone. Trying to make this world we live in better for everyone. Amen. You have done so much, been through so much, God bless you. You may never read this, but I hope that you do, from a nothing person, who is just concerned and someone who cares. No, ive never met you, but I still care about you and your family.
I am so sorry that post was so long. I just wanted to share my story because i dont think alot of heroin addicts think about the other consequences that iving heroin can cause such as endocarditis. To Barbara or Darin do either of you know if Demri was capable of having another surgery or not? I know thats super personal n i thought i remember Barbara saying she didn’t know specifics on what exactly happened. Im so glad to see the people who are able to look past her addiction because obviously there was so much more to her. Thank u to everyone who takes the time to read this !
It’s sad because most society can’t look past ones addiction to drugs although we all have some weakness or do something that would be frowned upon & even if one was perfect it’s still not right. Until America recognizes the addict is sick have compassion try to help “not enable” stand up to the Government to look at Portugal & the actions they took “it worked” sadly it is scary how the future looks. I think what we could do for the fallen heroin addicts is change. Thanks for your compassion.
Hey everyone, im a long time lurker but never have posted not sure why. I wasnt even sure where to post this comment but whatever. Im a long time AIC fan and think Layne was the most underrated ARTIST of our time. That being said im not a crazed obsessed fan but I am aware of Demri and read her story through Barbara and Darin about 10 years ago right after my heroin addiction started. Ill try to sum this up as much as i can. I was iv’ing heroin for 8 years when i suddenly came down with what i thought was the flu. A week went by and my symptons worsened. I went to the ER and had ct and mri and found out i had endocarditis. My tricuspid valve was infected and a large vegetation had grown on it. Later into the night i got worse and my organs started shutting down. I was put into an induced coma for 6 days on a ventilator. The drs told my family that my chances didnt look good because the infection was too out of control n i probably wouldnt make it through surgery. But miraculously i stabilized and had open heart surgery to replace my valve..im so sorry this is so long but im not done yet. The surgery went good..(tryin to hurry) after surgery i got on suboxone n was doing really good for 6 months. Then my dad died n i lost it. I relapsed and used from april to june of 18. End of june..i start getting sick again. Same symptoms. I go to ER find out i have endocarditis again because after u get ur valve replaced it can EASILY get infected again. Even by something as small as a cold. So im postive thats why Demri got so sick again after her heart surgery cause her new valve was so sensitive. So right now and since june of 18 ive been sick as hell waiting to have my new valve replaced again. The surgeon wants me to prove ive been clean for 9 months before she will do it. So thats what i have been doing staying clean. Im on suboxone tho. But i get drug tests and go to counseling and outpatient classes. For the first time in 10 yrs im doing good! But like Demri i have a death sentence hanging over my head because my heart could fail at any time.
May God Bless you. You will be ok. Love lots of love. Laura
Beca, I just wanted to Thank you for your story. It is so scary and so serious. My hope is people considering trying heroin or opiates in general just one time will read your story and Demri’s story and think twice. I wanted to also check in on you and see how you’re doing with your recovery and your heart? I hope things are getting better for you and if not you hear me and please go get help. Death is forever and you are needed in this world. You have too many things left to do. Hang in there sister it gets easier and it gets better. So sorry to hear about your Dad too and believe me I understand how easy it is to go back to the only thing we know made us numb again. “Comfotably numb”. But sometimes feeling it completely is what we need to do. I wish I could hug you and Thank you again for visiting my website and coming back again after 10 years that’s crazy huh? This site has been around. Haha! I dont update it much because I’ve basically said all I have to say and it was the most healing thing I ever did. Writing about my life and the lives of the people I lost and actually having people care enough to read and respond was a HUGE blessing for me. If people only knew how stuck in grief I was for YEARS and today I still miss them all but I dont break down crying anymore. Which is a good thing trust me. Grief takes time. There is no magic cure.. but writing, journaling and even just talking about the ones you lots does help or at least it helped me. I hope it helps you as well. God Bless. – Barbara D.
Hope you overcame that second endocarditis as well as sustained sobriety from that hell. Please update us so we know you’re OK ♥️ much love and respect for your bravery and journey
I wish they were still hear every time I listen to him sing I cry it’s so sad I’ve been fighting my addictions for 20 years it’s a daily struggle but the music keeps me alive for now I pray there together energy doesn’t die the spirit is forever
Demri has haunted me on a regular almost daily basis since I first learned about her story. I’ve been tormented by my addiction to IV heroin for the last 14 years, my best friend in the world, my everything, my older sister, is the spitting image of gorgeous angelic Dem. My sister also was an addict and passed away in 2008. As I approach the 10year anniversary of the day I came home from work ( I bartended at Linda’s the iconic dive bar on Seattle’s Capitol Hill) and discovered my sister dead in our apartment on Denny Ave N. Nobody can understand what a loss of a beloved can take from those left behind if they haven’t been there. I will never be whole again and I keep stuffing the pain down and filling the hole in my soul with heroin but I never am rid of the pain nor am I ever joyful and worst I think of all…I don’t even feel alive.
Jessica I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost a sister. Living your life not feeling happy is not the way you were meant to live. Please go to a support group. You need to be happy. Please take care if you.
Jessica, not sure if you will get this it’s been awhile since you wrote it but I dont update this site very often anymore. I used to live off Denny with Rosheen and Demri stayed with us alot so it was very easy for me to picture the scene when you found your poor sister. What a true tragedy heroin addiction is. It steals everything from us including everything that makes us who we are the things we love about ourselves and then it takes our very last breathe before we even know how far gone we are. I wish she could of figured it out before it was too late but the truth is.. very few do but the ones who can are super humans and should be extremely proud and share their stories of hope with the ones who haven’t gotten there yet. It is possible. It is not easy because our brain chemistry is so damaged it’s hard to live life again with out it. Which is one thing people who’ve never been addicted to opiates dont always understand and maybe never can. But it is possible with hard work and TIME. Best thing people can do is move away from everything you know and everyone you know that makes it easy. Start a new life and meet new friends otherwise its always a phone call away and for addicts it’s just to easy to make that call. It needs to be a full on mission or its 100% harder. I do believe in suboxone if you just use it for a short period and then detox off. Otherwise it’s just another chain.. you cant go without. I hope your doing better. Bigs hugs! – Barbara D.
Well here I am, all these years later.
This website is simply amazing, a treasure trove of information for those wanting to go under the surface.
Having been an avid fan of grunge for well over 20 years, I had always wondered about those references to Demri in relation to Layne´s demise. A google search for “Demri and Layne” brought me here at last.
It´s kinda surreal to read some of these stories from people who were actually there. I remember sitting in my room in Iceland in the early 90´s, listening to all the grunge bands thinking “Man..I´d like to be able to live in the smack dab middle of all this madness, be chilling in Seattle with likeminded folks”.
Age has shown me that it´s probably good that I didn´t, as I´ve never had any sort of chemical dependancy nor drug habits, and been overall successful in my life.
Being so removed from the reality of it all only made it more exciting though, and through all my adult years I have regularly sought out every bit of information I could about the real lives of the musicians involved, and in this case, their significant others.
Chris Cornell´s recent death triggered something in me and I´ve spent days reading through this site among others.
The facts, and I will allow myself to speak of them as facts, as I have 100% trust in Barbara´s descriptions and tellings, are staggering. Makes me wonder whether genius will always, without exceptions, come with an enormous cost. Reading through the stories of Demri´s existence is at the same time beautiful and awful. What a joyful presence she must have been, all the while carrying and apparently, practising some horrible habits. Almost makes me ache (being a parent of two girls already). Makes total sense that D and L were soulmates.
Seeing posts pertaining to Andrew Wood, Xana and Mike was very pleasant too. Quite a few wrongs have been righted by the existence of this site, the amount of BS out there about these individuals is beyond belief.
I could go on and on, but simply wanted to leave my mark on this site, and thanking Barbara for keeping it alive for all this time. It speaks volumes about this site that a guy sitting in his living room in Iceland in 2017, can read through it and feel as if he were a fly on the wall in all these parties and gatherings.
Thank you so much for allowing me to be a remote part of the scene, 25 years later!
Blessings from Iceland.
Adalsteinn, thank you so much for your kind comment so many years ago
Hopefully, this still reaches you today.
The website will forever live on my server for those seeking to learn a little more. I dont update it much but sometimes I add to the pages more.. like I did this one recently. Have a look see and enjoy!
– Barbara
REMEMBER Layne and Demri. Mike, Rosheen, Andrew Wood and now sadly.. the list grows.. Chris Cornell who was an amazing man, husband and Father and Friend.
This site is so beautiful, props to those who made it/run it! I too adore the photo of Demri on the couch, didn’t she have the prettiest, most elegant little hands?!
Xana La Fuente, if you’re reading this, I just want to tell you that I find you so inspiring too. You’ve lived through so much loss and heartache, and you’re still there for the real fans, speaking the truth. I’ve always thought you were such an exotic beauty. I recently watched the Andrew Wood documentary and your words had me in floods of tears. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about Andrew, Demri, Layne etc, because I’m currently waiting for a bed to open up at a detox facility to hopefully help me kick this awful ten-year addiction to painkillers. I desperately want my life back, and as much as I adore the aforementioned people, I have no desire to follow in their footsteps and go to my grave this young. I’m determined to fight this demon, and be a better daughter, sister, aunt and friend to those who love me. I hope this doesn’t sound silly, but I pray to Andrew and Demri sometimes. I ask them to send me the strength I need. I listen to ‘Chloe Dancer’ and think of how I want my life to be as beautiful as that song.
Love to you all, from Scotland
Wish me luck xxx
Best Of Luck to you Ms. Jacqueline from Scotland. One Day Ay A Time. Beautiful Country, would love to visit.
How you doing Jacqueline? Did you make it through? I honestly hope so… but if not.. no judgment here just love and understanding. Its not easy but it is possible!! Big hugs! – Barbara
Rest in peace sweet Demri.
Hi ~
Xana here, just wanted to let you know the photo of Demri at ” friends ” was my photo and taken at my apt in Hollywood, she did not even know the people in the photo, they m,et about 5 min before I took the photo. Just saying! Not really a big deal
Take care,
Xana
Who is the other girl with her on the couch?
She was just a friend of my roommate. I also took the photo of Demri with the red white and blue tights on, I gave her the tights from my work Fantasy Unlimited, and we went to see our friend Pony and I think she and Pony dressed up then we took a few photos, this being one. The photo of Demri on the couch in lingerie is at my apt on Queen Anne, the one Andy died at.
Let me just say that it’s truly a pleasure to “meet” you here Xana. You’ve led a life that would’ve crushed a great number of people. But all the while enjoying experiences that you must cherish greatly, I imagine.
Consider yourself having a friend in Iceland from now on.
Take care, stay strong.
Aðalsteinn
Hi Xana! Omg, those TIGHTS! The day I met Demri she was wearing them, along with cut-off jeans, and a cardigan she’d had since gradeschool (apparently). We were all rocking the “grunge uniform” in those early days. Lol. AiC was playing a show that night at an old fire station in Redmond–do you remember that place? Anyway, Layne introduced my friends and I to Demri, and I’ll never forget my first impression of her– she was this angelic looking little thing, with the biggest, most genuine smile… She took my hand in both of hers, and told me what a pleasure it was to meet me. I was 15 at the time, and clearly fan-girling over her boyfriend’s band but she didn’t give off even the slightest hint of rudeness, or jealousy, or possessiveness. She was just honestly sweet and kind to literally everyone around her. We talked about how we KNEW that AiC was going to be the biggest band in the world, and she insisted that I tell Layne that, because he didn’t believe it coming from his girlfriend. Haha. I could go on for days with stories, but I won’t. On the slim chance you ever read this, just know that even in 2017 there are people who still cherish the GOOD memories of that time, way back in the day when “grunge” was still in it’s innocence…to this day I get chills listening to AiC, Soundgarden, Mother Love Bone. Those guys literally made magic and I’m so grateful to even have existed when they all did.
OK, I’ll stop now; I just wanted to write that to someone who understands, so thank you if you read this rambling mess. Lol.
Stay blessed, Xana. Much love to you, from W. Seattle xoxo
That girl looks like she’s afraid of Demri, or what Demri is saying to her, while Demri looks totally relaxed, lol.
Demri’s story haunted me when I first learned of it a few years ago. Not sure why but it left me feeling weird. I’m her age, a Seattle native and recently lost my sister to heroin. It’s nice to see this page and realize how much she was loved. People are complex and I never knew her but it seems this tribute site exists because she earned it.
I’m confused. One story has Demri trying to kick drugs & dating a coke dealer in the final days of her life. The Koa story has her at Layne’s place until about 8 days before she passed. Which is correct??
I think Demri’s Mom confirmed that guy was NOT her boyfriend so it was either a friend or someone that “picked her up”. Read that on someone’s Pinterest.
Marilyn Monroe. Someone who took many drugs, uppers, downers,narcotics, yet she always tried to better herself, in acting, in life. She did her movies, needed a babysitter for many, but she got through it all. Yes, she died young, of mysterious circumstances, but she made a living for herself. I wish Demri had that same desire, to want to be an actress/model, who read books, studied acting. Yes, she was sick from herion, but so was Marilyn. Yet, MM continued on til the day she died. Demri counted on Layne & others to help, & they did. She could’ve been so much more, it’s a shame. And Marilyn had no family to help her, she was alone in all this. Demri had the help of her family and Layne, not something to ignore. Just saying that Demri could have done so much more.
Marilyn Monroe. Someone who took many drugs, uppers, downers,narcotics, yet she always tried to better herself, in acting, in life. She did her movies, needed a babysitter for many, but she got through it all. Yes, she died young, of mysterious circumstances, but she made a living for herself. I wish Demri had that same desire, to want to be an actress/model, who read books, studied acting. Yes, she was sick from herion, but so was Marilyn. Yet, MM continued on til the day she died. Demri counted on Layne & others to help, & they did. She could’ve been so much more, it’s a shame.
I’m so glad that Demri’s mother supported her no matter what. If I had been in that same situation, my own mother, who I love dearly, would not have been so loving. Addiction to herion, several heart operations leading to a pig valve heart as the last resort for survival, my own mother would have given up on me & say, ” You deserve to die.” In contrast, Demri’s mother supported her through all the hospital stays, and was there for her in the end. I couldn’t afford all the hospital bills, but somehow, or someone, helped Demri. God bless her mother, cause mine would have let me die without hospital stays. Although Demri passed anyway, her mother remembers her fondly and without regret or anger. Truly a loving person.
Hi Barbara, I remember right after Layne passed that you sent me a beautiful email about Demri. What she looked like, how she dressed, & the decoupage she’d make from angel& Victorian cutouts that she would paste on boxes & give as gifts. Also how she would decorate her hospital room with the same. Also, you mentioned the pain she was in, & how her mother, Kathleen tried so much to help. So much more, I wish that email had been saved, but with an updated computer & such, I’ve lost it. . You’ve done a great job with this site, having your own life & kids, that I thank you. You’re a wonderful woman. Bless you. Laura
There are similar pics of Erin Everly & Axl Rose back in the day, to Layne & Demri. I can’t get it to paste & post, but at least the other two are still here… However so.
Dear Barbara,
I hope that you get to write your own edition of a book about Demri and Layne. Would love to hear & read your insights on them. I know that you have a busy life, but I’ll never forget that you emailed me info on Demri, such as her liking of decoupage with Angels & Victorian art, which she used & put on boxes as gifts for friends. Other things as her signature scent, patchouli oil, which brightens your home & others, have brought me joy. I’m at a low point in my life, and any more information about Demri would be greatly appreciated. . Thank you, I know you may not get the chance to answer this…. But I hope that you will….
I can’t get over how freaking gorgeous Demri truly is. I didn’t even know it was even possible to be that naturally beautiful. Look at her smile, too. She’s perfect in every way. We all make mistakes in life, and Demri did struggle with addiction. It’s extremely heartbreaking. Although she is not here in body, I can guarantee she is here in spirit, watching everyone and is beside her mother. I believe Layne when he said before his passing that Demri visited him. Just because we can’t see something/someone, doesn’t mean they’re not there. My heart goes out to Demri’s mother and family, same with Layne’s. What makes it better though is knowing that Layne and Demri, and her friend, Rosheen, are all together now, in each other’s company, waiting to reunite with the rest of their loved ones in eternity some day. Rest in peace beautiful angels. May your family’s hearts be at ease and protected.
So beautifully said, I believe the same. 🙂
2/22 – Happy Birthday
Sorry I meant to say decision! I need spell check!
Thank you for that ms. Susan. I didn’t want to say too much about myself when you are facing so many scary health problems but my stepfather died 2 weeks ago of lung cancer. I was there through the 4 year battle and was in the hospital room when my mom had to make the painful dedication to end life support. It’s been lonely here without him. But he’s right here with us now on the fire place! I pray that you have lots and lots of time left with no pain.
By the way by the way , I am a female b. And I have a life too. And I used to live my life just like layne and demri. Not anymore thou. I struggle everyday to not use heroin. I’m lucky to have 2 beautiful little girls that keep my life full. So ….
I am very sorry about your loss…I hate cancer and congrats on doing good, keep strong
I apologize ms. Susan. In no way did I mean to upset anyone on this site. I guess most all questions have been answered on this lovely site. I just look forward to hearing from someone. I will pray for peace and healing for you and you’re children.
I did not see anything from anyone on Thursday Oct 29 2015 about demri I guess everyone forgot. That sucks!
No that is not true I come here today, Oct 30 to pay my respects because Oct 29th I didn’t forget but rather I was being told after fighting cancer for 6 long years that the cancer had returned and given results of my scans…it is now in my ovary, uterus, also back into breast and 2 lumps one blocking a duct in the breast…so basically I was trying to take in that I don’t have much longer to live and what I will need to do as far as my kids, etc…but still within 24hrs I came to pay my respects…just because someone doesn’t post on a site on a certain date doesn’t mean that the person is still not remembered
Hi Susan, my name is Layla and I saw your comment about your cancer situation. I hope you read this, it could really help you.
You could say that I believe in alternative medicine, have you heard about the raw vegan/ vegan movement? I know they seem crazy and all, but I have heard people’s stories on YouTube about how veganism, particularly the type that involves mostly raw fruits (unprocessed raw produce is key) changed their lives.
There are people who say this cured their cancer. I know it sounds crazy but I’m begging you to check it out. There’s a youtuber named Kristina who has a channel called FullyRawKristina who makes videos about raw veganism, even though a lot of her videos are receipe videos which may be high in fat and should not be eaten too often of they have a lot of fat, but her videos are a place to start. Also there is a pretty controversial youtuber who’s channel is Freelee the Banana Girl, and she does cuss a lot lol, but her videos can definitely help. She’s a vegan and follows “raw till four” which is like raw veganism but includes a cooked vegan meal at dinner time.
*Please watch her video called “What the Cancer Industry doesn’t want YOU to know” and her video called “Terminal Brain Cancer Cured On Raw Food”.*
I will pray for you and your family, God bless you Susan. – Layla
Ummmm people still have lives to live sir…
No need to apologize…It just shows you care…I was just giving you another way to think of it but not like the person behind me answered…”saying others have lives to live etc”…that is selfish and narcissistic as you know what! Most and foremost many people are dying everyday like me and I am talking about how I just found out I am dying and they are such an jerk to come behind me and talk about how they got so much living to do!! Just rude and no respect… Or those already gone like Demri and Layne.. best thing they can come up with is they have a life to live??? Just one of many reasons I want to be cremated so I’m not out in a cemetery forgotten about like by some prick like that! Nope I wanna be up in a loved ones home on the fireplace mantel by the TV….some people really just don’t care! RIP Demri and Layne
WTF are you talking about? Why don’t you read my other posts? Shane came along and started talking shit about how nobody commented on Oct 29th and I said people have their own lives to live meaning that I don’t monitor this site every single day and I have relatives that have died and friends that I’ve known personally that have died. That doesn’t mean I don’t care that just means I wasn’t aware. You lose the internet Susan bc you obviously don’t give a shit about other people that have to concentrate on sobriety every day, work a full time job, pay bills, take care of kids, etc. That doesn’t mean nobody cares that simply means people have priorities. It sucks that NOBODY commented other than the one person but most people are so busy they don’t even know its Oct 29th. I get so busy I don’t even recognize the date sometimes. Get over yourself and if you remember to comment then be positive and stop snapping at people. If somebody else would have commented it would have showed in my email and somebody did…on the 30th that’s why I was here. That person that did comment bitched because nobody else did when they should have simply offered condolences or said something sweet but noooooo…it was an asshole post.
1st I was not talking to you! 2nd have some compassion or can you not read…I have just been told I am dying of cancer and yes I have kids too and am a single parent at that with bills as well…so I understand all to well and I too am a recovering addict…I in no way was ugly to no-one whatsoever!!!!!! I just come here to pay my respect to Demri passing anniversary….
Alright, I apologize then and I am very sorry to hear about what your going through. I will pray for you I know it has to be really tough. I always hope to be able to tell myself if I become terminal someday that death is a part of life and hopefully it’ll bring me some comfort and I will look at it a different way. I have never been in that position so I’m sure it’s not nearly that easy. I just hope you are able to get well again and I hope whatever happens you are able to find peace with it. Like I said, I’ll pray for you and hopefully god will lift you up. If you need to talk to someone when times get tough just shoot me an email my address is boggs128@aol.com and I will chat with you. Keep us updated on how you are doing. I didn’t wish to get in an argument here I don’t think it’s appropriate but I think it was just a misunderstanding.
Thank you and I am sorry too just been very emotional lately with all going on…no disrespect to this wonderful page or people
Dear Susan, Bless you. I hope that you come to this site again. Not all people are cruel. Bless you, get well, and have a Happy New Year filled with love, happiness, and joy. I’ll be thinking of you.
my heart aches when I see these pics. I miss you, Demri. I love you. I wish you were still here with us. I will forever cherish our short time together. RIP. <3
Hi Barb I needed to reach out to one of Demri’s friends. I cannot imagine how you feel I have so much empathy for you. You are brave and strong and you do all Demri’s fans a favor telling us about her and running this site. I get sick to my stomach when I read things about Demri that are her friends words but twisted around. Her true fans have compassion. I can’t stop wat other people write but I hate seeing stupid stuff written so flippantly on sites like tumbler twisting around good peoples word. Love you Barb
I totally agree and share the love and respect… I am a recovering addict…this month I got my 6yr 6mo clean time!!! It is even hard this far out but so freeing…I have terminal cancer and if I could I would have love to have given your daughter whatever it was in me to make this happen so she could be here with you… Addiction is a disease and one we need to address in this country very seriously without all the judgement…We shall just pray for all the negative talk out there if there is and the ironic thing is that it is those that judge other addicts that will discover it is in their own family! Love and support to you and your family
God bless to you! Stay strong, stay strong, you can beat this. You’re in my thoughts and prayers. May the heavens help you beat this cancer! Prayers are with you at this Holiday time. Please answer, so that I may know that you’re ok. All my love, Laura
See at 2:32 here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot0g2SWqnK8 there are two girls. Is it possible to be Demri on the left? The girl looks like her.
I really appreciate this site. I was and still am a huge fan of Layne’s and AIC, and admired the beautiful Demri. Being and ex-heroin addict myself, I know first hand the trials and tribulations that come with doing hard drugs, trying to keep a relationship going with my addicted girlfriend, and playing in a rock band, all at the same time. I made it, but my wife sadly did not. She died last March. Thank you for sharing. Hopefully others will not make the same mistakes that so many of us have.
Oh man…I wrote all that for nothing. I got an error…to be continued
First I would like to thank you for this site. I am an addict and have been for years. I can understand as well as empathize with Layne, Demri, and all addicts that have been seduced by a drug that seems so good at first. I was into the “grunge” scene since my brother first brought home a copy of Nirvana “Nevermind” in 1991. I was a weird kid because I liked all different types of music that kids my age didn’t like because it was considered uncool. I liked Classic rock and blues when I was 11. I remember the first time I heard AIC I was living close to the beach and just started smoking weed and I surfed every day. That sound was amazing I was listening to “Rotten Apple” with the black lights on and it just took me to another place. I never thought much about the lyrics until, fast forward about 6 years, and I was on dope. I started our just doing it because it made me feel energized to create my own music as well as to work. The drug grabbed a hold of me and before I knew it I was doing dumb shit to get my hands on it. If I can explain it, in words, in detail then a sober person MIGHT understand. In all actuality they probably never will unless they have gone through it. I hear all these people who talk down on heroin addicts because they cant just quit or that they make other people suffer. The truth is that the drug more powerful than the mind and often times the only way for someone to quit is to be forcefully removed because the will power is not there. I was in a situation to where EVERYTIME I would get high I would be happy to know I would be quitting after this last time only to fall asleep and wake up and be in a totally different mind frame of freaking out with anxiety and trying desperately to get more. I tried to tell myself its all in my head and that it would get better but no matter what the drug strips you of your ability to compromise and feelings about how things affect others. For instance, I would never trade my mother for anything in the world and she would give her last breath for me. I am sober now and I understand this and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about how bad I was for all those years of stealing and lying to them and my mom crying worried if I was going to die. When I was on dope I just didn’t care and all that mattered was how I was going to get better or keep from being sick it wasn’t even about getting high anymore because it would take $500 to vet high once for a couple of hours. I have a respectable job and the only way I could keep it was to get right before I went to work and I would spend a 2 week pay check in 3 days and starve for 2 weeks. If I didn’t have anything I just wanted to give up and not go to work I have no idea how I made it through it because I called in with the flu a lot. I was neglecting EVERYONE even my daughter when sick and when High I just wasn’t worried about it. After a long time of trying to stop and being unsuccessful you willingly succumb to it…you just give up!!! Its like someone out there looking for a job and you can’t find one but you keep trying and trying but after a while you just give in to the fact that its not going to happen and you stop trying. In short, you loose the will to live and probably have lost your soul wayyy before this point. Dope sick is horrible and unless you have experience it for yourself you wouldn’t understand and the mental part of it is even worse. I have seen people/myself go from great people to completely changed. Its even worse when you have a lot of responsibilities to take care of because you find yourself stuck to where you have to keep using to try and keep up with those responsibilities and it works at first but it tricks you and then you loose everything if you dont loose your life. Its not like you can just sit around the house for 2 weeks and suffer life doesn’t allow it and if you dont have great insurance the rehab isn’t taking you either. The drug is the great deception and it kills people around where I live every day. I live in the middle of nowhere with a very small population yet people are dropping like flies. What does that tell you? Boredom plays a role and if your a recovering addict you have to keep yourself busy. Anyways, I can imagine what Layne and his girl were going through when people you thought were your friends are either with you or against you and the others are there because your famous and providing whatever you need. I believe that their friendship was love as well as drug based. I believe that when he lost her he probably felt like it should have been him and that the only hope to be happy was gone and like I explained before he probably just gave up trying to quit and just decided to let it consume him. I am sure that he was pressured to go on tour and not feeling well decided that instead of letting the fans down and letting them see him in that state he felt he had a better chance stating away from that pressure. I know exactly what he was feeling like I felt it every day I had to go to work sick or living to get high. I loved Layne and Demri was a beautiful girl and the whole situation is tragic and if they survived maybe rock would still be mainstream. R.I.P
Nope.. I got it all and you speak 100% the truth. Thank you so much for sharing your story it means a lot and people who do not understand need to hear it. I also was a hard core heroin addict and my family and life suffered from it and I honestly did not have the willpower to save my self. So I get it and I consider myself to be a very strong willed woman. Anyway, I think you hit the nail on the head when you explained why Layne did what he did. I think about 95% of it had to do with shame over what he had become. The talent and beauty he had surrendered to drug addiction and the rest was due to depression due to his drug use so all of it was due to heroin. I have no doubt in my mind about that. Again Thank you so much for sharing your story it is important that we all share our stories with each other openly and honestly so another person does not fall into the same trap. The seduction of heroin is no joke and ANYONE can be it’s next victim. The best thing you can do is don’t freaking try it. EVER. It is not that great. It is not worth your life and the heartbreak of your family just to see what it’s like. Please I beg of you. It changes the chemistry in your brain and you become to where you can not experience joy or happiness with out it and it takes YEARS for your brain to recuperate and those are some pretty sad years where your brain does not function properly. Why do you think it is so hard to stop? People just want to feel happiness again. Without happiness in your life… life is not worth much. So we run back to the thing that we thought made us happy again and then after a while that does not even work anymore. It is a horrible existence. Thank you B!
Thank you for your story. Life is one thing after another, with drugs more so. I hope and pray that you’re ok today, to live and tell more of your story. Know that you are loved, and that we all care about you. i’m not an angel either, no one is, but alchohol is my stupid drug, whish it wasn’t so, makes you fat and sick. I have IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so I shouldn’t be taking anything, but the pain is so bad. Anyways, I would love to hear an update from you, as to how you’re doing, and hopefully feeling better. Merry Christmas to you. And to your Family. Prayers.
I could not have put it better….Recovering addict myself
That couldn’t have been put in a better way! I have had major issues with drugs and alcohol (off and on) since I was in my early teens and I could have 100 people tell me that I could always visit or talk with them when I’m feeling down however I always had a hard time with that because it’s hard to explain to someone if they’ve never been there. It’s hard to have someone understand that you didn’t get off the couch all day because you just couldn’t get up or because you want to rip the painful gaping hole out of your chest. I also have been a person who had/has major responsibilities and grew up in a household where I was the adult and my parents were the kids and I started numbing myself and on the “slow suicide”. For some reason I always thought it would be better to go out with an OD because then it wouldn’t be a surprise and maybe my family wouldn’t be as upset as they would with a suicide. I’m very thankful for my daughter because for the first time I had to clean up and start to deal with things. Although I know that my parents did the best they could, I want more for her and never want her to feel how I have so many time. I want to protect her from the despair, shame, guilt, pain, and the rest of the feelings that go hand in hand with drug addiction/mental illness. However I also want her to know others have been there before and you’re not alone. Sorry I really wasn’t trying to make this about me just stating that the daily struggle is so hard and it always helps to have those who have been there talk you through it. Layne is one of my favorite musicians and as soon as I saw and read about Demri, it’s easy to see why she was loved by so many and still is! Layne’s music has always spoke to me and I know a lot of it has to deal with how brutally honest he always was with his struggles. I also thing it’s amazing how they found such amazing friends along the way who stuck with them during the hardest times! It’s easy for people to judge and if they can stick with you during good and bad that’s a wonderful thing. All of you stay safe and strong and Barbara thanks so much for sharing with all of us fans out there!
I try to not let bad things that happen to me in life to drive me to get high. I have fell of the wagon a couple of times because I will wait for an excuse to do it. My daughter was actually a big reason why I fell into darkness because her mom was making my life miserable and it made me feel absolutely worthless and then I would get high bc then I wouldn’t think about it. However, I found that things that boost your confidence and self esteem help you stay away from it. You know that feeling you get throughout your body when you accomplish a goal and you are gratified? It’s like being high on life and that’s what everyone should strive for because though life can be scary and ugly, it also can be beautiful depending on how you look at things. It’s all in your head how this life is and if you can find away to stay positive then everything won’t look so dark. I am aware however that when your in heroin there is no thinking positive when your adducted to it because your brain is drained of the hormone that makes you happy.
Oh my… she was so beautiful, so beautiful. What a cute smile!
Oh my… she was so beautiful, so beautiful!!!
What a cute smile!!!
Oh my… she was so beautiful, so beautiful!!!
What a cute smile!!!
RIP Demri
May you never be forgotten.
RIP Demri.
This is a beautiful website.
Just dropping in to see if there have been any new stories to read 😉
It’s awesome designed for me to have a web page, which is valuable designed for my knowledge. thanks admin|
For me, layne was Alice in Chains. His vocals cannot be matched. His style was like no other. He had that presence that gave you goosebumps and made you want to move closer or turn up the volume. I know it can be a struggle to help drug addicts. But, when you have someone over 6ft tall and weighing under 90 lbs, it’s time to step in. What could he do…fight back? He obviously didn’t have the strength. If you call 911, he won’t be your friend. But, if you do, you could save a life. If you put him in rehab, he could check himself out. But, I don’t know of a court that would deny a parent power of attorney if they have a child on the brink of death. Drugs was his escape to find what he was longing for…love. Apparently, he found that lasting love with Dem or did he? Was it the greater love that made them sole mates…drugs? Drugs can bring you to the highest heights. They can numb you from all the pain. They can seduce you and make you feel like nothing else can be as good to you. They both were on a downward spiral without a safety net. But, how did it happen? There is a thin line between being a friend and being a parent. Both Layne and Dem were very attractive individuals with a fan base. But, most fans are there while you’re on top. Once you fall, that base diminishes. Which makes the seductive drugs become even more powerful. Every parent wants their child to grow up healthy and successful. But, success is no good, if they’re not here. We live in a world of selfishness. The village to raise a child or extended family member or friend to help re-direct those who are going off track, is not here anymore. Layne’s father could have been that positive influence, but he only helped drive Layne to an early grave. It is such a sad situation. All the pain and suffering when their lives could have been filled with so much love and happiness. Although we miss them dearly, let this be a lesson to us all. We need to find a way to unite and help our sons, daughters, friends, lovers, entertainers. Sometimes, we forget that they are people too. Media can put entertainers on the highest pedestals and even encourage the descructive behavior, but drop them like hot potatoes or make matters even worse when the downward spiral goes into overdrive. As a loved one, you have to be alert. If something seems amist, you need to stay on top of the situation or find someone who can. Older more successful groups need to talk to some of the up and coming or simply make a video so that record companies can play it to newly formed groups. Then management needs to discuss the contents with the band…let them know its a brotherhood or sisterhood. If boundaries are established upfront, some of these issues can be avoided. Enabling is just as bad as abandoning.
Thanks for this site.
I love it.
I was here many years ago and it has really come a long way. I wish I didn’t wait so long to return….but life gets in the way.
Take care and Thanks so very much again for keeping this site up and running. I feel as though we can no longer talk about Layne on any AIC sites and that he is slowely being weened off of all of them…..so again & again, thanks, and love hearing your stories.
Hi Chillow,
If you go onto Facebook you will find a number of groups dedicated to the memory of Layne.
They have many members,some who knew Layne personally,and they are always being updated with member participation.
Worth having a look my friend.
Take care,
Dave.
Thanks Dave! (Just noticed this now.)
I guess I’m looking at the wrong fb pages. Need to search harder for the better ones.
Thanks again!!
I came across this site while listening to Laynes music on line.I along with many others loved his music and now I see why Layne loved Demri.I never new them but feel such a love from this website and the pictures of Demri and Layne. Just from her pictures you feel love what a beautiful person she was and I cannot imagine how she is missed by all who new her.I feel fortunate to have found this site and kinda feel as if I got to somehow get some insight to what a beautiful person she truly was.We all now get to experience why she is so deeply missed by her family and friends.Thank you for introducing us to her.RIP
I bumped into this web site and it was a very nice memorial for Layne and Demri. I heard a lot of nice things about how Layne how he was a very down to earth person but, we need to remember we are all human and we all make mistakes in life. I hope they are in peace and my prayers are with the family and friends.
This blog says everything I wanted to say!
I found this online, in case some of you haven’s seen it before…. http://grungestorytellers.xanaland.com/2013/02/happy-birthday-demri-crew-guy-recalls.html
Everything has already been said here, but I want to thank you personally. The site is great, the pictures are beautiful, and it so wonderful that we can remember them. I thought that taking drugs is an adventure, that it makes possible to survive such a thing as great artists who are an inspiration to us, but now I know it’s not an adventure, it is often the road of no return. Drugs are not fun, and will never try again. Thank You!
Hello,
I’m not sure if this message goes to Barbara, or not. But, either way, I just wanted to say what a beautiful site and all the loving comments about a side of Layne that most of us would have never had the chance hear about.
From the time I bought Facelift (14 then), until Laynes death…and to the present. AIC has always been a huge impact on me personally (and musically). Layne was like no other. He is still my favorite singer of all time to this day; that will never change I don’t think. Still makes me very sad to this day as well, some pain never goes away I guess.
Much love and respect to everyone that Layne touched.
-Chris
Hi Barbara,
Was wondering if you ever went on any road trips with Demri to see AIC? I know its been mentioned she was to keep her distance from the band later on but I thought you might have some fun memories travelling together to see some AIC gigs from earlier in the picture? – A bit like the tutu story 🙂
And did you ever see Mad Season play live?
Thanks so much, your website and memories are so generous and appreciated. You are a survivor and your story is so important, especially to those that struggle xx
Ah, okay. Thanks for clearing that up!
Hi Barbara, just wanted to share this video with you, just in case this photo in it is Demri… http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlGZfqQzpvU
It’s a tribute vid, and at 5:45 (and I mean exactly… easy to miss!) there’s a black and white photo of Layne and a girl who looks like Demri, to me at least.
I know it’s a picture and not a video but… just thought I’d share in case it could add to Layne and Demri’s pics. 🙂
Hey there! Not Demri, sorry. That’s an actress and that picture is a screen cap from the video Sea of Sorrow.
I first heard nutshell about a year ago and had to find the source of that sound.It was here that I found AIC + the voice of Layne. However, I was very struck by the beautiful young woman with him in pictures. She seemed to have style that was individual in fashion and photography. My deepest sympathy to her family and you the friends. If it is truth you have lost more than your Demi but a sibling with a “D” too. It is a familiar tale but one that just can’t penetrate the young minds. You are not invincible and you can’t just experiment with Heroin. Their legacy should be used in the context of learning. History has proven that young people experiment without clearly thinking of their mortality. Youth fueled by fame and wealth is even more deadly. Let their legacy be one of art and discovery, friendship and love. But also open dialogue about drugs and continued thinking of the young that this could never happen to them. Because it does and these beautiful people have created this place for dialogue. Allowing us insight into lives cut short and giving it all up ugly or beautiful for us to learn.
Blessings to each of you!
Just wanted to say hi and that I really love all the site and all the posts about Layne and Demri’s music, art and lives. I originally posted feeling pretty down and I’m sorry I vented about personal feelings that only tangentially had anything to do with Layne.
I’ve really been inspired by a lot of Layne’s music, both AIC and Mad Season. It helped me get the guts to start learning to play guitar, something I’ve wanted to do for a long time! (then going to work on my singing. Hopefully be a soulful powerhouse like him. :))
Thanks for this site and sharing so much about your friends. Seems like it takes much courage and heart to do so. They are blessed to have had a great friend in you who will tell their story and stick up for them so fiercely too. 🙂
Thank you for this wonderful website. I stumbled across it by chance. I have been a long time fan of Layne Staley. Demri is a beautiful woman. Those pictures are breathtaking. It’s so sad that two talented people lost their innocent lives to the demons of drugs. Not only am I a fan, but I have become intrigued by Laynes life due to having a 21 year old son, who in many ways, reminds me of Layne. He is artistic, plays the drums and guitar, he has natural talent. But my son also dabbles in drugs. Not heroin, but pills and marijuana. I pray every day that he does not experiment with H, because I know that he will not come back from that. So, anyway, the point to me leaving a comment is to say that I just read “Layne Staley, Born again” by Adriana Rubio. I have wanted the book for years, but could not see me spending $200+ for a paperback book. My husband purchased it as a christmas gift for me. I read it within days. For those that have been debating on whether to buy it or not, I say, save your money. The book was poorly written. It was missing something. I can’t put my finger on it, but it wasnt what I wanted out of a $200 book. But as a fan who collects all kinds of memorabilia, it is nice to have.
Do you know if you have the first version or the second? I have the second version and it was at the bookstore and we got it for like $20 or so. Now I see it selling online for $200!!
I believe it’s the second version. It’s not Angry Chair, its the revised addition, Get Born Again.
I found this online and I wanted to share it in case you haven’t read it before…
”…Layne’s girlfriend, Demri [Parrott], was the one who made the connection between our bands. Demri, who was the cutest, most beautiful thing in the world, came up to me one night and lifted up her shirt. She showed me her belly button, and she goes, “Look, I can make a cat’s butt!”
REED HUTCHINSON (Feast guitarist) Before Layne was going out with Demri, I got to know her through
my girlfriend Angela. Demri was super-funny and very forward. I was probably 18 and super-shy and I
remember her asking me super-direct questions like, “So, how’s the sex between you and Angela?” And I was like, “Oh, my God, you can’t talk about this!
XANA LA FUENTE “Innocent yet provocative.” That’s how Andrew described Demri when he first saw her. She kind of reminded me of Brooke Shields in the movie Pretty Baby. Young, but very sexy. She was really frisky; she was all over everybody. But not in a slutty way.
PONY MAURICE (Feast singer) I kind of fell in love with Xana and Demri for a while. Yes, I like both men and women. We would all just hang out and go to shows and play around. They were both so beautiful in their own weird way. Demri was five feet tall and tiny, and Xana was six feet tall and, like, Amazon. I just was smitten with Xana. She had this really cool, big Roman nose. I knew Andy before her, but I started getting a lot closer to Xana than I ever had with him. He knew that I liked her, and I think she would sometimes use me
to make him jealous.
DAVID DUET At our next rehearsal, Demri and Layne walked in together, and within a month I was doing guest appearances with Alice in Chains, singin’ Bowie songs and stuff. And then shortly after that, their whole sound changed ’cause they got introduced to the scene and Susan Silver. They changed into this dark, brooding, heavy thing.”
”… DAVID DUET Before I left Seattle, Alice in Chains was having their big Bumbershoot show and Facelift was out. I would stay with Layne and Demri sometimes, and I had laid on their floor kicking for a couple of days. They were freaked out by it all and didn’t understand it. Then I went back to Houston, where I was working at a nightclub, and the phone rang in the office. This was probably ’91. It was Layne and Demri and they had to find me to tell me they started doing dope and how wonderful it was, and right then I knew they
were goners. You can just tell when you talk to certain people, especially females. You can tell when they’re lifers. Very seldom been wrong.
JOHNNY BACOLAS I found out Layne was on heroin after the Van Halen tour in ’91. He told me that he
had an issue and he couldn’t stop. He told me that the first time he did it, he was exhausted and feeling like shit. Someone—I don’t want to say who—brought him some heroin because they couldn’t find any coke. And Layne tried it, and he said that was the first time he really thanked God. He literally looked up to the sky and said, “Thank you for this feeling.”
”…DAMON STEWART Right after the release of Facelift, Layne and I became roommates in Seattle. I had started working for Sony Records at the time, doing a regional A&R job, and with them being signed to a Sony label, it was a little bit awkward for both us. The Sony people were trying to use me as eyes and ears to report back—is he doin’ drugs? It wasn’t a blatant thing, but it was definitely implied a couple of times that they wanted to know how he was. I can understand that to a degree, but we were pals, and I wasn’t gonna
play a tattletale game.
He was usin’. There was no question about that. Him and his girlfriend Demri both lived with me at the time. They were very discreet about it. There was one time I found a spoon, and it was obvious what it had been used for. I adored the both of them, but we definitely had plenty of conversations that were like, “Look, it’s not fair for me to say what’s right or wrong for you guys …” But I got to the point where I was like, “I can’t have this goin’ on here and be wonderin’ if you guys are gonna wake up or not.”
”…SUSAN SILVER Not that the others weren’t heavily into drugs, too, but Layne was clearly so deep—it was so dangerous—that all of our lives centered around how to aid him. It was never about, “How are we going to prop him up to get him on a tour?” I had this conversation with Layne over and over and over after the success of Facelift: “Your health is the most important thing. You need to get well. Stop this. You have enough money, you can go buy a cottage on the beach and be there with Demri”—who was also very artistic—“and you can go and create whatever art you want.”
”DAVID DUET Layne and Demri had kind of an open relationship. In the position he was in, it’s probably the only way he could’ve had a lasting relationship. Layne was very true to Demri in his heart, but he related many, many wild touring adventures to me.”
JAMES BURDYSHAW Demri had started lookin’ kinda ragged for a young person. I knew she was really
into dope deep at that point, and one time I saw her on the bus and she pulled up her shirt and showed me her scar from when she was on the hospital table and they had to massage her heart back to life. She almost died from doing a speedball. A month after I saw her on the bus, she was dead.
TOM HANSEN Demri ended up getting endocarditis, which is an infection of the lining around your heart. It happens a lot to drug addicts. When Demri passed, Layne really took that hard. She was really sweet and really cool.
JOHNNY BACOLAS I recall many nights when I was living with Layne, Demri would come to the house and after I’d go to bed, she would just open my door, sit at the edge of my bed with a bag full of potato chips, chew really loud, and just talk. It didn’t matter if I was exhausted. She didn’t ask me, she didn’t care. “So anyways, yesterday I ran into so-and-so and blah blah blah. Did you hear this new record by this band?” And I loved it—I thought it was so cute. If a kitten’s in your bed clawing you, it’s a kitten, you know? After I moved out from Layne’s, I didn’t have much contact with Demri. After she died, in ’96, it seemed like Layne went into a darker place. He moved to the U District, to a condo right above this tavern called the Blue Moon. The Blue Moon was kind of notorious, at least when I was a teenager, as the place to go buy drugs. That kind of clientele. And part of me wondered if he moved there because he didn’t have to drive anywhere and it was easy access. Then again, all the dealers would come to his house anyway, because, hey, he was Layne Staley. Once he moved to that place, I didn’t talk to him. I don’t think many people did, to be honest with you.
Thanks for posting that. I went through and read all the Layne/Demri parts when I first got the book, too.
I wish that Barcolas hadn’t moved out. I know he was taking care of Layne and buying groceries and making sure he was eating and cared for. Someone in his life thought that was enabling Layne and suggested Johnny move out….I can’t remember who it was (maybe Nancy?) but I can’t help but wonder if he had stayed living there, if things would’ve been a lot better for Layne He would’ve have isolated himself in his ivory tower and died the way he did. Just some random thoughts I had.
No problem. And I agree, no one should die the way he did, junkie or not. I often think what could have been if he just got clean, what kind of music he’d be writing? I can’t stand the new AIC, to me you can’t really replace a lead singer the same way you can replace a bassist or something (sorry but it’s true), but anyway.
Addiction is no joke, I go to med school so I spend a lot of time in the hospital and it’s just awful what being addicted to something does to people. I’m all up for experimenting with certain things with responsability but heroine, cocaine, meth and those kind of drugs are out of the question. I love this site and thanks Barbara for all the work you put into it. Sorry if I missespelled something, english isn’t my primary language.
Thank you Ana and yes addiction destroy’s your body Thank you for bringing that up. I don’t think a lot of people understand how much damage it does. Not just to your soul and family but to your body in general.
Stay away is all I can say, I have met very few people who have just tried heroin and not become addicted. It is extremely addictive and will destroy your life. I know we all hear this and we all have been told over and over to stay away from drugs but I wish I could drill it into kids heads who might consider trying it. It will ruin your life. It is not worth experimenting with. Enjoy the site and remember the point is to remember those who have DIED due to this reason.
This may be too personal to ask, but I have been curious. I know Demri got endocarditis as a result of heroin use, and all of the trouble that caused her. I have noticed that Layne is very tall, upright in his earlier career. Later, as he got deeper into heroin, he almost seemed stooped over and maybe a little bow legged in AIC’s last concerts in ’96. Is that because of damage to his skeletal system due to heroin? Or did he just appear that way because of being really thin and probably feeling sick a lot? I know it can cause lots of damage to your body. Prayers for those trying to beat opiate addiction out there.
HML – from what I understand, Layne spent a lot of time in the slumped forward position while he was nodding – when heroin users experience their rush and then get sleepy they sortof nod off and then wake up and then nod again He used for so long and slumped forward a long time and that affected his posture and height. I’ve read this a few places. Not sure about the legs.
I gotta say, if demri had lived, layne would be here to, No doubts, if she had gotten clean, there would have been hope, and this world would be a better place. Its people like demri and Layne who would really make you think life was worth living. I just had to say it. great website.
04/05/93|04/05/02
RIP LAYNE RIP MUSIC
I don’t think you can get ”shorter” from heroin abuse… I’m not sure though, from what I know the only way to actually get shorter is from getting old, and that’s because you will slowly lose the cephalorraquid liquid that’s between every ”vertebra” (I don’t know how to say that in english lol, the vertebras are the little bones that form the column), but maybe affected his posture like you said Liz… still there are a whole bunch of other side and long term effects, I’ve read that heroin is the most addictive opiate right after desomorphine (it’s like heroin little cousin only nastier), and it’s getting pretty big un Rusia, Ucrain, and starting to come to my country, too.
I’ve read several places where it said he had braces on his legs to help him walk, but I think that is not true. I do know for sure that he seemed shorter because his spine curved since he spent literally years in that position.
This is in response to what Liz said about Layne and Kurt, were they good friends? Also I read somewhere that Layne wanted kids of his own is that true?
I don’t think they were “good” friends but they had used drugs together when their bands were playing at the same show in south america somewhere, if memory serves….and the ride home. Layne did mention that he was affected by Kurt’s death. It was just so shocking and upsetting. I remember also reading that Layne took Andy’s death badly. Cornell said Layne came up the stairs to the apartment and was crying and nobody got up and gave him a hug and now he wished he’d have done that.
Regarding kids – I think Layne wanted to have a family. The Mad Season lyrics are generally regarded to be Layne’s true feelings on everything and in Lifeless Dead he said “How he wished that they would wed/I promise on our love she said/promises were never kept” so we know he wanted to marry Demri at one point and for some reason I feel that he wanted to have a family. He loved Oscar, his sister’s baby. He was in the middle of drawing a very cool cartoon for him when he died. Barbara might be able to offer more insight, but I definitely get the vibe that Layne wanted to eventually get clean and have a family at some point in his future.
Ok, thank you Liz! 🙂 It’s been a doubt to me, because I’ve also read in a lot of interviews from 97, 98, that Mark was already living in La …because of rehab and stuff like that but sometimes would come to Seattle, although he moved to LA in 98…but yeah, it might be possible…thanx again!
I agree with you D and Eric, in different things a lot of that just sounds to made up..and even if Jerry is a bit arrogant or has this kind of personality-which I’ve read somewhere of him being a bit hard on Layne-it doesn’t mean he’s not a good person…She paints him like such a BAD GUY! Ughhh, what’s the need? and yeah, Jerry writes beautiful music as well as Layne did..also, can someone confirm me if Layne did live with Mark Lanegan…finding it a bit strange, dunno..i’ve read some of Lanegan’s interviews where it says that aroun 98 he mostly lived around L.A, just moved there…whatever, and by the way, I’m also a big Nirvana fan, can you Barbara or someone here confirm me if Kurt Cobain was friends with Layne? I think that a lot of facts that she put on the story are true, BUT..she def. made up, it’s like she takes on real situations and then adds ugly false details here and there..
yes I have read several times that Layne and Mark Lanegan lived together for a time.
Kurt and Layne knew each other. Once Kurt gave Layne a ride somewhere and talked about his daughter Frances and Layne said that he was so excited about her.
@ Eric: Nothing. Songwriting abilities have nothing to do with personality. I just feel that sometimes Jerry does not get enough credit for the good things that he has done.
And, as I mentioned, there are a lot of true facts in the story but I don’t know what to make out of it as a whole.
Not to mention the way she speaks about Jerry… Let’s not forget that the guy wrote (and still writes) most of the beautiful and haunting AIC music. I miss Layne’s voice so much, but I have to admit that I absolutely love Black Gives way to Blue (the song).
If it is made up, then she is an amazing writer. And what does Jerry’s songwriting abilities have to do with him being an asshole?
Half of this sounds made up..this Koa girl…Jesus, what people do..
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/archive/index.php?t-234414-p-11.html
Any comments about this? I know that at least some of it is true…
“First of all, please forgive my anonymity. I was anonymous when I knew Layne and there were lots of reasons for that. I don’t know why I chose here, maybe I need to vent or maybe I just want to share a little bit of the truth as I perceived it. (Doubtlessly there are some people who were there at these times and knew things differently. It’s the nature of things and I think that this is dictated by how we feel about certain people.)
I knew Layne circa ’94 – ’99, Demri circa ’96 right before shd died. I see a lot of conjecture and guessing about the nature of these relationships and it’s bugged me for years. I’m not jumping on this now just because our wonderful Layne is gone as much as because of the conjecture.
Back in ’93 – early ’94 Layne was seeing this dip**** model who did more harm to him than good. She was wicked to him but Layne was being a dumb kid and he just wanted to date a model, he said so himself when it was over. She wasn’t making a lot of money back then, but she did manage to get a lot of his. She had talked him into putting a lot of big purchases in her name. They broke up around spring – summer ’94, or maybe even earlier. It was hard to tell because as many times as he said it was over, she was still going around town telling everyone that they had gotten married.
Layne later said that Demri wasn’t too bothered by this, but I didn’t know her then. Actually I was bothered by it though. e_wink.gif I was only then getting to know Layne and I liked him a lot. I was jealous of the model dip**** and I hated her. *sigh*
When they cancelled the ’94 tour it was because Layne was afraid. He really freaked out over Kurt a few months before that. He’d had a close call and he didn’t think that he’d be able to stay clean on the road with that lifestyle. At the time, Jerry was very understanding and more than supportive to Layne. They were less like brothers than like a weird married couple. I’m not saying they were gay, lol! But they just often acted like a married couple.
Jerry was REALLY different back then. He loved Layne more than anything, I think even more than Courtney sometimes (Courtney as you all know was Jerry’s on – off gf.) At least, Layne came first. I think Jerry really was sincere, too, at least back then.
I’m not totally sure when that started to change. When they began the KISS tour, Layne had been clean for a (relatively) long time, but I remember he was very scared to leave. He didn’t seem to want to do it because he had a bad feeling about it. He fretted and fretted. One of his friends told him that he’d had an image of Layne trapped in an airplane as it filled with smoke (what a thing to say!) and Layne almost backed out then, but the others talked him into it. He had someone call a psychic for him to make sure that he would be okay.
Layne was okay until the last night of the tour. Personally, I have no idea exactly what happened, but I got a lot of stories. Layne was always really quiet about it. One of his more moronic friends told me that he had actually died, but what little I did get from Layne told me this wasn’t true. He always kept saying that he had “slipped.” Most of what everyone heard then was nonsense. I know he did get an infection because of his very, very stupid way of not looking after things. He became sort of ashamed and let it go longer than he should have. That’s where all the “gangrene” rumors started. He went into rehab after that. Then there was some stuff with his mother that I just can’t share here. Suffice to say that she got the wrong ideas about some things, Layne was hurt by her assumptions and they parted ways for a while.
I understand that Jerry started doing cocaine again around this time. Mind, I never knew him entirely well and I never saw him do it, but it’s what people were saying. Layne was trying to quit EVERYthing at this time (he even attempted quitting smoking) and Sean was still bringing pot around everytime they would get together. Jerry started to stay away from Layne though.
By ’96 or so, Jerry was fed up with Layne’s fear of touring. Layne had admitted that he was mostly finished with show business. From then on, he said, he just wanted to do art and make music for his friends. Jerry loved the rock star lifestyle and didn’t want to give it up and he was pissed at Layne. But he never said so outright. Jerry would make these stupid, hazily spiteful remarks like “we’re standing by Layne” and “I love him anyway.” Who wants to be loved “anyway?” And the thing was that Layne was really bouncing back at this time. In spite of all the rumors he WAS clean. He was getting more and more into one of his favorite hobbies too, which was anime (which he helped get me into. Thank you again, Layne. e_biggrin.gif ) His anime of choice back then was Vampire Princess Miyu.
Late ’96, Demri started backsliding and this was around when I finally met her. Now whether or not Layne ever knew just how much I liked him, I don’t know, but Demri knew. We got along at first. Demri was sweet and helpful and fun. Then she moved in with Layne because she had nowhere else to go. They weren’t dating at the time, just sharing the apartment. Layne had told her that if she started using drugs again he’d have to make her leave. But Demri did start using drugs again, and instead of asking her to leave, because then she would really be in trouble, Layne took a hike. I don’t know where he went though, and even the people who he rented from thought he was still living there. He just didn’t tell anyone that he was leaving.
Demri made a mess of the house and the living situation in Layne’s absence. She turned really different, and believe me when I say that she was not truly the person that she was becoming. When she was herself she was a very sensitive and fun girl. Around October 20th or so she made some phone calls and wrote some letters to some people. Sparing the details, I ended up having a stupid fight with her about Layne. I was somewhat envious of her because Layne always seemed to forgive her each time, and there is something TO that, but at the same time I felt I was right; she was making a mess of things and she was in big trouble. She said something to me, I said something back, and that was it. When I spoke to Layne I was pissed off and crying, and told him what was going on at the house, but he pretty much already knew. That’s when he came back and Demri left.
Demri died on Oct. 29th of ’96 of a heroin overdose. She was made weaker by the fact that she’d contracted heart problems from the use of dirty and used cotton when she used heroin. At 26 she was wearing a pacemaker. I remember a few months after she got the pacemaker that certain “friends” of Layne’s were blaming her illness on him. Why? Because she’d been staying at his apartment at the time that she got sick (when he had gone on tour,) and according to them, he hadn’t thought to leave her enough money to buy new bags of cotton for, what, ninety nine cents? Just how much sense does that make? She had her own connections for buying heroin and she could afford that, but it was LAYNE’S fault that she got sick b/c he hadn’t bought her cotton before he left. This is the kind of ridiculous talk he put up with from people who claimed to like him.
RIght before Demri died she had been about to move to Hawai’i with her father (or stepfather, I forget which.) She was also seeing this new guy that her family hadn’t met. He was a coke dealer. She went out one night with the new bf of hers and she had shot heroin before they left. They went down to QFC and he asked her to wait in the car while he ran into the store to buy a few things. When he came out, he assumed that she was asleep. He drove around town for a while after that not even aware that Demri was dying in the passenger seat. By the time he tried to wake her she was in a coma. That was the night of the 28th. Demri didn’t die till the morning of the 29th, in her mother’s arms at the hospital. I think that Layne always sort of blamed himself for not looking after her, because she did need looking after. Nice she was, but not very independent. Demri never grew up. I have some copies of her poetry. She once called herself “an alien waiting for a ride home.”
Around ’97, Layne had moved to the U Dist. He hardly ever saw Jerry anymore, but Mike Inez was still kind of close with him. As for Mike Starr, if you’re wondering, he was living in a crappy old apartment (same building that I used to live in,) with his father. One night he and his father were shooting heroin together and his father OD’ed. He lived through it, but they were kicked out of the apartment. Gah, Mike Starr was a weird one. I never met him, but that’s according to people who did. (At the time, Layne didn’t know what happened with MS. I’d heard it from one of the people I knew who also lived there.)
Jerry was totally dogging out then. He seemed to think that because he never shot heroin he was better than Layne. Jerry did do some heroin but he was all about coke, girls, money and fame. I started to dislike him then. You know what he was like? He was like Layne’s pimp, only he couldn’t get Layne to work. Layne was tired of it and didn’t want to do it anymore, and Jerry became very devious in his words and his actions. He’s a different person on coke. He walks around flipping his hair and trying to hump everything he thinks might have a vagina. He’s got this “I’m Jerry Cantrell and you’re not” sort of attitude. He started doing this whole big martyred thing in the press – “I’m standing by Layne, even though it’s making me sufferrrrrrr!” but in private he was slipping the knife in. God. Just thinking about it. >:(
Around ’98, Mark Lanegan was living with Layne. Mark and Layne were really cool together. Lanegan was struggling to quit heroin and I would swear to this day that he’s here because of Layne. Layne helped him a lot in a lot of ways. He was always fighting someone else’s battle when he thought he had his beat. Lanegan was really sick for a while and Layne was like a Florence Nightingale. Oh lord, the jokes… ;D They would go out together and a lot of people thought they were gay. Which didn’t bother them though because they took it like one big joke. “Yeah we’re gay, wanna join us?” LOL!
I just don’t know what happened after ’98 – ’99. Things were mellow, Layne was doing really well. He had his cats and a nice place to live and his art and his hobbies. I know that he was at Jerry’s ’98 Halloween concert, and had thought about making an appearance there. He was dressed as a monster that night and no one recognized him.
I don’t know what happened after ’99. I left Seattle because I was very stupidly stuck on Layne and I knew that probably nothing was going to come of it. I looked a little bit like Demri back then and I always had the feeling that Layne was a little weirded out by that. He only ever made one reference to the fact though, and that was after she was gone.
I moved thousands of miles away, he changed his email address and, though we spoke on the phone a few times since then it was only about little things. During this year I hadn’t heard a thing. But then I was never much more than a witness.
For Layne to die was just sad and wrong, but for him to die alone was just an abomination. By blaming Jerry and the rest of Layne’s “friends” I also have to blame myself for moving so far away and losing touch. On the other hand I also don’t flatter myself that I could have done something for him; I just don’t know if I was that important. But I will say this: Jerry saw this coming. Now you may say that he was just fed up with waiting for Layne to find solid ground once and for all, and I could totally understand that, but you’d be missing the point. Jerry’s almost entirely about money, or at least he was 3 years ago. I’m sure that he’s sad, I’m sure he feels it. But god, if he isn’t just a little gratified also. Jerry always had this “I told you so” thing going on. When Layne would relapse or even admit to weakness in the last few years that I knew them Jerry would get very patronizing and very smug. I’m sorry, but I just can’t stand the man. I hate the way he made people feel, so worthless and small.
I’m sorry, Layne. I made myself get over my stupid feelings for you because I had to, and when I did that I also got over my frustration with the fact that everytime I defended you I had to hide behind anonymity and lose credibility. I never told anyone that I knew you and you used to tell me “don’t let it bother you. It’s just talk.” And things like that. I always had faith in you though.
I remember looking out your window at the docks one time while you were on the computer, and I was making you listen to some stupid old song because I thought it was cool. You were making fun of it and you crooned the line “you are so superduper bravissimo” to me like the big goofball that you were. Layne, I was yours for the asking, but you never asked.
That’s all I wanted to say. Maybe I’ll find a little peace now even without credibility, just like you always thought was possible. Don’t forget me though and please continue to be my angel; I know there’s enough of you to go around for everyone.
I love you still, sweetheart, and I’m so sorry.
Always, your brave Koa.”
ciao sorry for my english I hope to be understood, I wanted to participate more and share with many of you but as I said I do not know the English language, thank you barbara (admin) and his friend Darim you for sharing your stories . but I wanted to make a note on the message posted by D but written by koa know that runs online for about 8 years …… I know for sure because we put the message in alternativegrunge forum in Italy ….. I do not know how much truth there is in the message must have the attributes and say their name. because you write about people and events where you can not find if it is the truth … sorry my english
Oh man, the Koa story. Hadn’t seen that one in a while,it’s been around forever. I first read that on the findadeath.com forum many years ago – maybe 06 or 07? It was copied and posted to several different places. Certain parts of this story are definitely true. Demri died in the hospital with her mother and her aunt right beside her on the morning of Oct 29 around 7:40 a.m. She was unconscious when she was brought in and never woke up again. She died of an accidental overdose, her mother will confirm this and its also written on her death certificate. They were trying to treat her endocarditis for the last 2 years and she had a pace maker at 26 but the H had a serious hold on her, too. She had been clean for a little while before she went in and shot heroin with that guy she was dating. I don’t know anything about him other than that he dumped her at the Emergency Room and disappeared.
The rest Yes, Jerry had a coke problem. Sean was an alcoholic and Mike Starr was a drug addict. Everybody had their problems, not just Layne. Jerry did love Layne but there are definitely 2 Jerry’s. The first one who loved and protected Layne (Jerry had music, yeah a hundred guys did, but nobody had Layne’s voice and it was amazing. J’s songs and L’s singing and their harmonizing is what blasted AIC to the top and gave them all their success. That Jerry just wanted to keep Layne well so he could keep the band together. A lot of people think he was shitty because he would prop Layne up on a microphone stand if he had to and do the show, even if Layne was totally wrecked. (I’m sure this is an exaggeration but you get the idea.) Jerry wanted to tour but Layne was sick and then in and out of rehab 13 times. He also did Mad Season at some point in there.
Then they put out Tripod and yet again Layne would not be able to tour because he was so sick. I think at that point Jerry got pissed and tired of waiting around and did his own music. The next year they got invited to play Unplugged and did a couple of songs for a movie and then Demri died in October and Layne kindof shut himself off.
That crap about the model and Layne – I would bet money that’s not true. Me and some other fans have read nearly everything we could find on Layne and there has not been a mention of any girlfriend except Demri. I guess it’s possible that he dated someone else for a short time in between but everybody knows that heroin addicts have major issues with impotency so it”s not like he was gonna be grinding away with someone else. Anyway, once Demri died it was all over him because she “knew” him. She knew him off the drugs and on and had been there from the start.
It is heartbreaking the way Layne died and was not found for 2 weeks. But he wanted to be left alone. It was even sadder when we found out Mike Starr was the last to see him and saw that he was in trouble…but Layne wouldn’t let Mike call 911…now he’s dead, too. It doesn’t seem right to me that they continue the band because there is no improvement. Will has a decent range but he’s no Layne and that era has passed and they’re just not as good as they used to be, which leads me to believe that Layne was responsible for a lot of why old Alice in Chains kicked ass.
I hope this made sense I just typed it at 5 a.m. Night world!
Layne dated pornstar Tera Patrick in the 90’s (she said so in her biography, she was 17 and worked as a model at the time) and also Simone Starr Farrow, the australian model (and then drug dealer). Maybe Koa was referring to one of them
I think this is Rachel that made Andy’s purple hand hat.
In my experience the Demri info isn’t accurate. I think the “Layne’s Place” being referred to was the Ward Street house they both lived in with both of their stuff. Layne lived upstairs of the 9th street house. The place was supposed to be for both. Layne picked it out for her because of the gardens. He had me come and look at it to see and meet the landlord. I was a reference for him. Demri never moved in. She’d stay a few nights. It was supposed to be their clean and healthy place and after Ward. I think he lived with Ian at the warehouse on
Valley St. or Roy.
Ward was when Layne went on tour and he quit paying rent there. Demri was okay with paying half, but not all. He thought because he wasn’t living there he shouldn’t have to. She thought he should because his stuff was there. When he came back from tour he moved back in until the band went down to do Rock in Rio.
I know this because Layne called me to make sure I was checking on her so I was around a lot. Teri, Mark Arms girlfriend, was maybe going to live there and then Chad from RHCP did for a little bit but they all had their issues.
I had an office in town and they kept bugging me to come over. I hate to stop before I am finished with something and will work 72 hours straight to get something finished no matter what even being my own boss. But it did allow me to come over for several days and get things clean a tidy, although Demri was always a neat freak around me. I’d cook up some favorite foods like my scampi tacos, phad Thai, smoked chix green chili enchiladas, and Layne loved his pot roast meal and Demri Fettuccine. They were always fine with my vegetarian dishes but I wanted to get some nutrients in them and meat on their bones, which is pretty much all I could really do to help. I’d last about 3 days. I needed to get back to work and I’d drive them crazy getting up every couple hours and putting my ears to their mouth to make sure they were breathing. Or I’d get up and watch them sleep when they were breathing funny because I was afraid they could die and it wasn’ t going to happen on my watch. Demri lost that place in Feb. Because she could no longer afford the rent on her own.
Tommy who bragged about selling Andy his last dose and Michael who was in El Steiner would invite themselves over, before AIC got home and did the Moore show. We’d hide and they would sit on the porch for hours to the point Demri almost got evicted so she let them in. The would cut and bag their heroin. Demri didn’t have money she combed the carpet and started using again. When she had a $10 habit they went over to Layne’s dads around the block who was clean and sober and starting a painting business and did the same to him after Robbing the place kicking in the back door. Michael was a really tall big guy.
As for cotton what as ridiculous thing to say. Anyone of her friends would have given her money to buy cotten besides its free at the hospital and they do send you home with a ton of supplies and she was there a lot. Probably every home in America has it, so it would be easy to squire. Cotton Fever isn’t from dirty cotton it’s from injecting a microscopic piece when you suction up the heroin thru it. No need to rant on that.
Johnny was a Godsent to Layne. When Layne didn’t feel like eating Johnny could get him to drink an Ensure sometimes 2 or 3.
Yes people who weren’t there and did not know the facts were always injecting their two cents and conjuring up untruths because asking made too much sense. Helping as a group also made too much sense. If people wanted to not just voice their opinion and get their hands dirty they could have, they chose not to and got jealous of the ones that did. I didn’t go to shows and I was ecpected to. I didn’t get a album to hang on my wall which would have shown something for all the hard work. (Back then we were still afraid of Aids and stuff and I don’t mean Layne and Demri but others that came over. When cleaning I didn’t know what belonged to who, which is risky). People call to make sure they are listed in the Thank You’s on an album. Those things would be great, I just wanted to be there when others weren’t so they had a safety net at all times. I remember Johnny being the same way.
I was with Demri most of 96 up until I went in the Hospital Oct.14. Demri was staying with a friends Dad trying to kick by the time I got out so she could come stay at my parents while I recovered from surgery and she had to be clean to do that. We never celebrated my birthday so she wanted to be clean so we could which was on the 28th. I was talking with her daily. She was staying with Tom the coke dealer because he had klonapin so she wouldn’t have seizures. He was not her boyfriend he was older than her parents, but he was in love with her and thought the were going to get married. On drugs and needing the klonapin I am sure she didn’t discourage his feelings but more so she didn’t want to hurt his feelings. She would have made it clear when she was in a better place to do so, not while one is kicking. She was having a harder time this time and told him to take her to Capital Hills to get drugs he said, “No”! She said take her to Capital Hill to Rehab so he thought he was (per what he told me). Christy the drug dealer lived behind the QFC and so did Paris. When I called Christy about Demri’s Wake she asked what happened because Demri had just been there Monday night, which was the 28th which matched with Tom. Tom has two versions. 1). She goes into rehab and comes back to the car gets in and falls asleep while he runs errands. 2). She stumples out to the car and passes out (O.D.’s duh!). One story he told her mom the other her dad. According to Tom he drove out to Fred Meyer past Wedgewood where Demri spent half the summer (before moving into Juliets) and he went shopping. Then he drove to Bothell and unloaded the car at home and he couldn’t get her to wake up. 1 person I know said he came by their house in Seattle and wanted them to come to his car to see if this girl O.D.’d. 2 of Kathleen’s patients told her about this weird thing that happened (he had done the same thing). She wasn’t out getting loaded and living it up that’s Rachel’s story.
Back in April when Rachel heard Demri had a zero % chance to live she made a B-Line to the hospital to make sure, as it was questioned repeadily and probably gave Demri incentive to live.
By the way she didn’t like her name shorted she loved the unique name of Demri. Ya I mess up and say it (we had nicknames) but also it was to motivate her to add a little fuel under her butt and remember she had a purpose for being here. My nickname growing up was AD so if it was shortened by her she would call herself little D. Don’t know unless she was doing a rap thing if she did that with others but do remember her correcting people who did say Dem, not Demri even to me. Kathleen will verify the full name thing too. I bring it up also because I know her family would prefer it be used that way.
Barbara you remember when you came into the room at the hospital and thought you were interrupting and we got Rachel to leave so you could have some private time with Demri and she thanked you saying she felt like she had vultures over her and could feel Rachel wanted her to die so she could have Layne. That was her. Given the seriousness of why you were there you thought she would be upset and she was glad to have you there and her gone. I am not saying Rachel is a bad person, prior to this I thought she was a hat maker genious, but it was at the very least odd because they weren’t friends, but Demri always the gracious host even on her deathbed. Also I do know Rachel was trying to be there for Layne after Demri died and he did let her but he said not romantically. He thought Demri could see him from heaven so it didn’t want to upset her.
To clarify Demri was in the hospital at least 13 times I know of each time 2-4 months from 93 to 96 which didn’t leave much time for her to get in trouble. That means 13 times she was clean. Layne loved “Clean Demri” it gave him hope. Hey would call her to be around him and of course she would eventually relaps and he’d kick her to the curb. It was drilled into him how his life and career would be over if she OD on his watch so he was afraid to have her around if she was using. It was for that, not because he was mean or wanted to date, he just wanted them both to get well and even said he wished Rehab had Co-Addictive Behavior Counselling for couples, which I was trying to help with at Wickenburg. They had called me after being with me in Vegas in the spring of 93 when they got there and they wanted Layne to have the band there on Family Day to deal with Band Issues. If I worked at Microsoft and went to Rehab I guarantee my coworkers wouldn’t be coming to hash out work problems. It’s quite ridiculous. I do get it a little but it’s silly. That time he was upset because he felt everyone in the band should be at Rehab and it really pissed him off to be singled out esp. when the crew were dealers too. At that point people were comparing the drugs as to why it was only him. He is at rehab all drugs are drugs so I think he was right, besides why not. I offered to go if it would help in any way (work was my drug) friends suck it up and help eachother. Again not blaming if we knew then what we know now.
Bottom line they both had to want it and they were convinced that only people who mixed alcohol and heroin (as in getting so drunk you forget what and how much you used) is the only thing that could kill you.
As for the book both Mike and Layne told me they wanted to sue her because it was full of lies. If you knew both it is obvious. I promised both I would never read it, but the excerps I have seen are ridiculous. They refered to her separately as a groupie who lied and tried to have sex with them and they said NO so she slandered them. Mike met with her because when Layne got mad she refused his calls so Mike did it to tell her off and because he wanted to find out why he was ejected from the band and figured it was from Melinda and Sean breaking up. I have never known Mike to lie and I knew him a long time. We were buddies and got closer when he was engaged to Miranda because he really wanted to do right by her. Layne and Demri always thought I could help people get clean for some reason when I never did and Mike thought I could help by getting him on the show Intervention. The did accept him but it never worked out.
Layne’s riff with Jerry was for telling him he needed to go to rehab and not going himself, hearing Layne’s solo music and taking it to the band and borrowing his 8-track and erasing his stuff with Maynard (I don’t think Jerry noticed it was on there). Layne loved what they had done, he thought Jerry did it on purpose. He also thought Damon was spying when it was obvious, no one had to tell. Drugs make you paranoid.
That is all I can remember to add. Oh that thing about walking down a hall and druggies is b.s. I have been to many drug places. Met Toby the Serial Killer Board Game guy in a regular looking apartment. Did pick up the phone for him and speak to John Wayne Gacy and didn’t know til I hung up, every place else was an apt. No drug dens. Dealers came to them. Also Layne hid that he used drugs even when people knew he didn’t advertise it by being associated with it. I find it hard to believe. Also you don’t party on heroin you longing about, nodding out, maybe drooling on yourself, and falling asleep in the middle of a sentence. Also what things happen on the drugs in question that makes dating not realistic. Who was more self conscience than Layne esp. on drugs. Dating seems illogical. I know he blamed himself for Demri dying we all played the should a, could a, wouldda tape in our head.
Like you said Barbara some things sound partially right. We all know parts of things, combined it all might make sense one day huh? What happened with that book, he had a really good chronological order of things.
Hi Amber, I was shocked to see how much you have shared about Layne and Demri’s life. I visit Demri’s Facebook page every once in a while and I’ve learned that her closest friends don’t like to disclose a lot. I respect that. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. You did so much for them. You were like a mom to them,making sure they were eating and breathing. I often checked on my kids breathing when they were newborns. I’m sorry that your friends made so many mistakes that caused them to lose their life. I’ve read about how Demri’s was stuck inside her home with the dealers waiting by her front door somewhere. It might have been here. I was just wondering why couldn’t you guys call the cops? It’s so sad to hear that she wasn’t in one place for long. It seems like Demri was homeless, staying here and there. Why didn’t she stay home with her Mom when Layne wasn’t around?
I realize this stuff is old news for you guys, but for people who are just coming to this subject (who have a passion to know the truth) the information via comments on this site is vital. To give Layne and Demri a fair and honest recording of their life stories. That Koa story has been particularly perplexing and I never could figure out exactly how it fit in. Then I read this post and it all made sense who this Koa is and what her role might have been in their lives. Again, another puzzle piece that helps to clarify who these wonderfully talented, beautiful, yet flawed human beings really were. I guess there is so little real information out there, so these kinds of stories become defacto fact. —– There’s an interview with AIC from 1999 on RockLine (I’m sure you know it) where Layne calls in, and at the end of the interview he mentions that there’s a girl he was friends with that had turned into a freak. I have always speculated that the girl he was referring to was her. If that’s true then her story is skewed and should be viewed as such (that’s a word of caution to the next intrepid armchair detective who gets this far) —— It’s funny how the internet makes it possible for anyone with curiosity and an active imagination to dig up these stories and become fascinated with the lives of people they’ve never met who have passed away. But I guess that’s the nature of celebrity. Especially a timeless celebrity like Layne Staley who left behind such a powerful legacy of music that continues to be important to so many people. Thanks for keeping this site up.
Hey Amber, I know it’s been awhile since your comment was posted, but do you by any chance happen to know for sure that Layne moved out of the Ward Street house in ’93? I read somewhere that he was still living there during the Mad Season days and then I read somewhere else that he bought another condo in ’94. I was just being a bit of a creep and trying to piece together when he lived where and for how long.
I thought he bought the Condo in 96.
His mother was quoted in “Grunge is Dead” as saying that he bought another condo in ’94, but I dunno.
The comments above and below have provided a welcome clarity on the Demri/Layne situation after MUCH reading for the last few days.
A good portion of the stories accessible on the internet seem to take place around the release of Facelift, gathering info about the later years in much harder. Makes me wonder about the beautiful pictures of Demri above, I’d love to know when they were taken. Would anynof those be from ’95 or ’96 ?
Anyway, I’m pleased to see others still commenting in these threads. I’ve read/heard about that name (Demri Parrot) since the late 90s but never really felt the urge to check out her bio until recently. A fascinating existence to say the least.
Barbera & Katherine~I am seeing this as I walk out the door, and will read more later, but I don’t know who told you someone else made the blue hat, I made ALL Andy’s hats. The blue hat was given to the EMP by me at Mike Starr’s service there. It was kept by a friend over the years, who had it in a box and it was in perfect condition. I paid a professional hat blocker a lot of money to help me with the final construction, but I bought all the fabric and designed them, I don’t even know who Rachel is. The hat was donated to them because I have never sold a thing of Andy’s and I was afraid of what may happen to it should something happen to me. They have it, although I have not seen it in the display but I do have the paperwork from the curator.
Thanks Xana
And actually now seeing how long this thread is and the content I am not interested it at all. Just not interested in other peoples opinions or stories, they bore me. But if it was Amber Feranno who said someone else made that hat, I am really confused, I talk to her often enough and she knows I designed and made ALL of Andy’s hats and clothing. The fabric alone I spent thousands on which in the 80’s is a lot, considering everyone else in that ” scene ” was flat broke. I was the only one with a real job and I should have been saving to travel but spent it on making Andy look amazing and it irks me to think someone is claiming to have made his hats! Anyhow, over and out-just wanted that cleared up. I even wrote a blog on that hat for Christ sake…
http://grungestorytellers.xanaland.com/2013/03/the-hat-with-purple-aura.html
Barb – just saw this quote from Kathleen on PaperPortraiture website:
I was saddened to see so much misinformation still out there…I am responding to the post of 10/29 Remembering etc. Demri DID die of an overdose after not using for a short while,,,,She battled endocarditis for over 2 years which the doctors informed my family they were unable to kill (I’ve often wondered if it was MRSA before it had a name,) She had a heart valve repaired and another replaced and the pacemaker implanted age 26.
Demri HATED being known as Layne’s girlfriend….If I had a quarter for all the times she and I were approached with “I know you…you’re Layne’s girlfriend and she would step back and reply No, I am Demri” I would take all of us to Vegas. Dem had gifts, she was not tortured she was a very old soul. She did not come here to learn any lessons she came to teach…she taught unconditional LOVE and from what I can tell she continues to do so…………..Do not place any attachment or story to my mother’s headstone for Dem that story will come out after my mom is no longer around….. that is another story Thanks for the oppurtinity to set a few things straight…I know the misinformation did not come from you sorry if I appeared to be venting perhaps I was a little.
Your site is beautiful if I were computer literate I would’ve corrected the writer it is nice to set the record straight .
Liz,
MRSA has been around for quite some time…I first found out about it back in 1994/95 with some of my first nursing home patients that I transported to the E.R.
Endocarditis is the end result of shooting with dirty needles or sharing them. It’s a terrible disease and I have seen so many patients that I treated and transported from the streets of Detroit that had it from shooting up. (The ones that used and didn’t contract it, were generally the ones that either snorted or shot with clean needles.
It’s such a shame that these 2 talented people were taken from their families and friends at such young ages. I can only imagine what the music, art and fashion industries would be like today if they had both survived their addictions.
I know Barb and so many others that knew Demri and Layne and were close to them, loved them dearly and that they are both very much missed. (I never knew about Demri until I discovered this site and got to know Barbara…I consider her a friend and thank her for putting this wonderful site together.)
What a wonderful site and tribute to Layne and Demri. I think she’s someone that facinates many people, and from what I’ve read, she probably would have been equally facinating to know even if she wasn’t Layne’s girlfriend.
I’d love to know more about her in her younger years before she went out with Layne. I know she had siblings and her name changed from Murphy to Parrott at some stage (as per yearbook photo). Who was she as a child and a teenager?
Barbara, I found an interview of ALC at the backstage of Lolapalooza in 1993 and the good news is that Demri was caught by the camera . She was talking to another guy right behind Layne and she was wearing black shirt and shorts. Well, I found two videos with the same interview, but I can not post the comment with the link and I do not know why. So go to youtube and search for this:
watch?v=dBZm-_6Qa3k
and this: watch?v=LL29f0AehNI
The second one has just a part of the interview becouse it also has Primus and Tool too, but the image quality is better. Greetins from Brazil!:)
Mara… one of Dem’s good friends name was Mara! Haha! Random. Anyway.. hate to burst your bubble and mine.. because I was excited to see a video of her FINALLY but no that is not her. She is too tall.. too lean… wrong body type.. can’t see her face.. wrong hair.. wrong clothes.. just not her. 🙁 BUMMER. I can see where someone would think it was her if they did not know her personally.. you know how you could pick out your best friends from just a shadow or the back of their head well that is how I am as well and that is not her. Thanx though cool video.. they were all such dorks when it came to interviews. Geez… pretty uncomfortable and geeky but that’s why I loved them… they were so far from what you would imagine a “rock star” would be like.. just normal guys who had normal insecurities. Miss Layne so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBZm-_6Qa3k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL29f0AehNI
Oh Barbara, I was just waitting for your confirmation but now i’m very disappointed:( But anyway thank you very much for this site. I don´t think you do not know the dimension of your work. People around the world come here to share informations and curiosities and read stories about people you love so much. And even when dealing with something as delicate as the history of these people you always share your stories and never treat us like crazy people. In Demri´s case specific, you are doing an incredible job, because you are brave enough to tell us who was the real and captivating Demri Parrott. I know her story is full of pain and mistakes, you never hid that from us, and maybe because of this some close friends and family don´t come in public to tell about her. But if people who love Demri don´t come to talk about her, other people will do, however, not always with good intentions and you know this! So thanks for always showing us the best of Demri! And thank you very much for your attention and respect with us fans! Demri would be proud of you 😉
PS: Sorry for my bad english, hopefully my words have been understood.
Love…Mara:)
I’m trying to post a comment and a link to a video, but all that appears when I try to publish it in this site is: your comment is awaitting moderation!! What do I have to do?
I had a rule for my comments if more then one link was added to a comment then it would be held for moderation.. this is to stop people from posting spam comments with links to their websites.. I have changed it though to allow 3 and I have posted the videos for you.. all you have to do is post the link and it will automatically post the embedded video.
Maybe some of Dem’s other friends can help you to confirm if that is really her but I say 100% NO.. but you should ask Fab what she thinks or Darin Lamb. 🙂 or Tracy Johnson.. all of them can be found on my Facebook friends list.
The distance between how young, beautiful and full of life Demri was in this pictures, and how much pain and suffering she must have suffered later in life, based on what you have shared, is so huge. Not knowing how dangerous heroin was, getting into it and then just not being able to get out … not realizing when getting into it that it is something that someone can’t get out of, seems just heartbreaking. When young, we all do crazy, risky things, especially in the early 90s. To pay for such risks with one’s life is just awful and seems unfair. Hearing how so many of your friends relapsed makes it obvious just how addicting heroin is and how strong of a grip it has. From everything you say about Demri and what a force of personality she was, this drug seems to have had an unbreakable hold on her. It’s just heartbreaking and I believe this site will help people not to ever get into it and this site and your efforts are saving countless people from such a sad fate.
What a beautiful comment. I agree completely.
Just curious, why isn’t Rosheen amongst the loved ones mentioned in Demri’s obituary?
To be honest.. I’ve never read Demri’s obituary but we’d have to ask the person who wrote it why Rosheen was not mentioned.. maybe they did not want to confuse people? No clue.. maybe they didn’t even know Rosheen was as important as she was to Demri. I don’t know who wrote it but if it was Kathleen I would guess that she could not mention everyone and I bet a lot of important people were not mentioned…because only Demri really knew who mattered the most to her… just like you only know who is really important to you. Who would your Mom or Dad or best friend mention in your Obit? Would they be right? I happened to know that my Mom.. who I love dearly and means the world to me would have no clue. I can say that Kathleen and Rosheens Moms know each other and leaned on each other during that tough time when they both lost their daughters.
Darin was there but I wasn’t because I was in the process of having my first baby and didn’t even know about it until it was too late because I was out of the social loop at the time.. I was devastated when I found out that I missed it. Doesn’t matter though that she was not mentioned in her obituary because I know that Rosheen knew how important she was to Demri and Rosheen was at her funeral…so that probably hurt her. Rosheen was clean at the time and doing awesome.. but then she relapsed and on June 19th 1997 she passed away…she was only 22 years old.
That all makes total sense. I am glad Rosheen knew how much she mattered, because that is what really counts anyway. Once again, I am sorry you have lost so many people that you loved. Thanks for the reply.
No problem.. I actually edited my response so I hope you got to read the whole comment I made. 🙂
Hi,
I just stumbled upon this website and I really love reading about Demri and Layne and about their time on earth. Someone asked for a video of Demri…got this from youtube its Demri and Layne singing together hope this helps 🙂 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQA98ZTJDTc
Thanks for visiting the website and sharing the video but that video has been around for awhile and it is not Demri.. I have no clue where or how that rumor ever got started but it is for sure not Demri. Take care!!
Thank you Barbara for making this site and memorial! I visit it often 🙂
As a mother, I cannot imagine losing any of my kids. I have read that Demri’s mom is an Addiction Counselor. Was she brought to this career choice based on struggles in her own life? How did her kids get so involved with drugs and addiction? Was it a physical predisposition to everything out there? Being involved in the music scene, where there tends to be a lot of substance use? I mean no disrespect with this question. I am thinking more of teens I have been watching grow up from their young years. Some are experimenting with stuff, which can just be a part of growing up. How does one know which ones will get stuck there and get in the grips of addiction? I am just curious if this is something Demri’s mom had to face with her kids, especially since some did get caught in addictions. She must be a really strong lady.
If memory serves, her mother was a counselor while Demri was alive. Demri went to rehab a few times and she had a pig valve in her heart. She had been in and out of the hospital a lot, and I am sure her mother did everything she could to help her. But when people are addicted to heroin, they have to want to stop or you can’t really help them. Every addict I’ve read about has said the same thing. You have to want it or it’s impossible. I wish they had suboxone and subutex available then instead of methadone clinics, I think it would’ve been easier on them. I heard that methadone is harder to kick than H in some cases.
The saddest thing about Demri’s family is that there were 4 children and now there is only 1 left. I am so sorry for Kathleen (D’s mom) to have lost her children like this. It is heartbreaking and doesn’t seem fair. I have heard that she is a very sweet and caring person. I think she, Nancy, and Mike Starr’s mom have been through hell. Makes me scared to have children.
Lovely post Barb! You rule 🙂
Sarah
Barbara, you are so good to remember your friends. I think a book about your life that includes your friends and remembers them would be lovely. Thanks for all you are sharing. I’m sure a lot of people would like to see a video of Demri. Perhaps because her obituary mentions she loved to play in front of the camera, people have a particular hope that a video of her will someday surface. Regardless, you have done great justice to remembering your friends.
I just came across this site, and I’m stilled to my core by the haunting beauty in these photos and the story of Demri and Layne, and so many others in her world. It took me a long time to figure out what to write here, but I felt compelled to say something. Thank you for this site, and these photos, and your memories.
Eric,
We lost so many friends it’s no wonder the ones that are left behind like me and Darin.. suffer from PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) not unlike a war torn vet would but the only difference is people don’t see us as heroes… we brought this upon ourselves…the uncontrollable addiction that is .. Heroin. We loved our friends and they dropped like flies around us… one after the other…we thought we could control it.. they thought they could live forever..
Let this be a good story to stop people from picking up for the first time.
Thank you for visiting the site and showing love for the ones we love.
Barbara
Go to you tube, type in temple of the dog off ramp cafe. The song say hello to heaven. Chris Cornell talks about mikes shirt etc. then announces the song say hello to heaven. There is a girl in the right hand corner, she turns right then left while looking behind her. Sure looks like Demri. Check it out and let me know
I went to the video and checked and I don’t think it’s Demri because:
1. The girl is shorter, but not 4’11 short like Demri was.
2. Demri didn’t wear glasses like that girl
It could be her though because she would definitely go to that show and she did have long hair like that (although her hair was more wavy I think) and there were a lot of people coming up to her and talking which would mesh with how popular she was.
Barb – can you look and tell us?
Can you send me the link and the time in the video where you see her? I found the video I think but did not see any girl… Thank you
Hey Barb – if Dem were alive today, what do you think she’d be doing?
I have nooo clue… i would never have imagined in a million years I’d be doing what I’m doing today if I was asked back then…I have 3 kids.. I breed dogs, I work in tech support and I’m a web designer.. not in a MILLION years would anyone have guessed that about me.
Dear Barbara, thanks so so much for this post. For all the site! For opening your heart with all of us, for sharing your love and passion for Demri, for making her not being forgotten…
I personally haven’t lost any friend such at young age, and the pain all of you guys who new Demri and were their family and friends are having, I think I will never imagine it. It must be so painful and so hard… but also them you receive these positive messages, of love towards you, towards Demri… and this must be also very grateful.
She was so young, so beautiful… the tragic muse, a fairy. Her smile, always sincere, always beautiful show who she was and how she was. A little flower wild child girl who won’t be never ever forgotten and will be for ever and for always loved and missed.
I know she is watching us from avobe, taking care of us, smiling everytime we think of her. She is proud of us the same way we are proud of her, and she loves us as we love her.
She and Layne, and Rosheen, Mike and all the friends are together and laughing, having fun and taking care of us. We will met them (again) and all together we will party and laught up avobe someday. I’m pretty sure about it 🙂
Much love, peace and good karma to you! xoxox
Thank you Violet for the sweet comment.. I also like to believe that there is an afterlife where we get to see our loved ones who have passed before us and we get to watch and protect the ones who are still here on earth. It sounds far fetched but then thinking that we just turn off like a light bulb is also way too hard for me to accept. So I just admit that I do not have the answers. I do not believe and I do not disbelieve. I am an agnostic. I try to study the different religions, lead a good life, treat others like I want to be treated and reach out to others who need it. I think there are clues around us every day of something more and that when we die we’re NOT gone forever… so I will continue to believe that something happens I just don’t know what it is yet. 😉
I would love to see them all again…
Love your site barb
Thank you Niki! Happy to hear you’ve enjoyed it. There are a lot more posts to see just click around. 🙂
…..u can always download vuze then go into kickass torrents and type in any movies, books, sitcoms you want to watch and download it….voila it downloads onto vuze and you can watch it anytime offline from then on….free all free
Sounds good i can be your book reviewer give star ratings..!!! I do know someone who read Mike Starr biography thing he did and said he really had tickets on himself…he couldnt express enough how much women loved him…. anyhow
Thanks for your honest opinion when you look at it like that its true im thinking of friends from 16yrs ago and even if someone wrote a book on me that facts are so not lined up with who i really am…
Writing your own book would be such a trip..imagine visiting the old places and mentally putting yourself back there to get into that mind frame to write….how bitterweet….
Sounds like you are happy and settled now with your beautiful family……have a good weekend xx
Barbara,
I would love to read more about this era and i know there is alot of crap out there but in your opinion which book written about that time in history on AIC and even mentioning Demri would you think is the most accurate??
I know none will be truly right until you and Darrin perhaps right one but for now could you guide me to what you feel is ok??
thank you for you time keep up the good work for these beautiful magic souls you keep alive. xx
To be honest Leah.. I have not read any of the books written about the era or the books written about my friends Mike and Layne. Not sure why I just haven’t.. never even held one in my hands or seen one on the shelves. I’m sure if I did I would snatch it up with excitement in my heart and then eventually growl under my breathe a little and put it back.. who knows though I might buy it. Haha! But unless you knew them.. because they were so private I just can’t imagine anyone can ever get it right.. unless you were there and you felt their life spirit.. you know what I mean? I guess anyone could do the research and read all the interviews and maybe even talk to the people who knew them but no one is going to get it completely right. Think about it like this… who could write a book about you?
Maybe someday I will write that book but as of right now I do not have any concrete plans to do that.. and if I ever did write a book it would be about MY life not just theirs and then I would include stories that involved them but I could never write just a book about them.. to me that would be..weird, wrong possibly? I don’t know. I think I would feel much better to write my story which includes them all… Mike, Layne, Demri, Rosheen, Darin Tracy.. RCKNDY the Off Ramp… The Seattle grunge scene in the early 90’s.. now that would be a book that I’d like to write. Not just a story about Layne and Demri. Because that is not my story it is theirs.. even if I was a part of their story and they a part of mine. I would like to write a book about my life with stories in it about them.
Do you know that the book about Mike Starr on Amazon is like $100 bucks? I’d like to read it someday but finding a copy would be the hard part and there is no way I’d pay that much to read a book by someone who just researched Mike. Anyway… sorry I could not be more helpful. I’d love to hear your take on any of them if you do read them though. 🙂
Hi Barbara, I was just checking in to see if there are any new posts an I noticed your comment about the books. I noticed the list of books on the home page and decided to go check out Everybody Loves Our Town by Mark Yarm at our public library. They didn’t have it so they ordered one for me and that’s what I’ve been reading these last couple of weeks. Well I highly recommend it. I love it! It’s just a bunch of musicians talking about the music scene in the Seattle and surrounding areas.There’s a tiny bit about Demri in it. A lot about Alice in Chains, Mad Season and Layne. I just wanted to share that with you and everyone else on here. Hope to read some more posts soon.
Barbara thanks for putting your heart into this and also for educating people about drugs. I never met Demri but I used to rehearse at Naf and played at the Offramp and RCKNDY , so I met Layne, Mike, Sean and Jerry a few times. We all were our suing a buzz in those days and the idea was to ” just be careful.” I remember I was shooting video for Nancy at one of those tributes five years ago -shooting man on the street interviews outside, and Mike pulled up in a limo and talked to some of us , and we chatted but he was high as a kite. Soon I heard he had passed on. Barbara you are right on that they suffered from a fatal disease- and also right that drugs aren’t worth dabbling in. I’m grateful to be 19 years clean and sober and also I stopped before my body got thrashed ( although coke alcohol and pot were my drugs of choice, not heroin). Finally, best of luck if you write a book Muself, I would love to produce a film documenting all of this. We tried to before but couldn’t really connect with Nancy- too much focus on Layne’s addiction and Heroin, and y’know there was a lot more to those times than just that. A lot of creativity! Jerry is one of the best melody writers ever, and Layne was a virtuoso vocalist and obviously his lyrics resonate with so many people. For me, I was blesse dot have been there when it all happened ( I’m from L.A. But I wound up in Seattle , playing led guitar in the lare eighties and early nineties. God Bless your sobriety!
Barbara thanks for putting your heart into this and also for educating people about drugs. I never met Demri but I used to rehearse at Naf and played at the Offramp and RCKNDY , so I met Layne, Mike, Sean and Jerry a few times. We all were our suing a buzz in those days and the idea was to ” just be careful.” I remember I was shooting video for Nancy at one of those tributes five years ago -shooting man on the street interviews outside, and Mike pulled up in a limo and talked to some of us , and we chatted but he was high as a kite. Soon I heard he had passed on. Barbara you are right on that they suffered from a fatal disease- and also right that drugs aren’t worth dabbling in. I’m grateful to be 19 years clean and sober and also I stopped before my body got thrashed ( although coke alcohol and pot were my drugs of choice, not heroin). Finally, best of luck if you write a book Muself, I would love to produce a film documenting all of this. We tried to before but couldn’t really connect with Nancy- too much focus on Layne’s addiction and Heroin, and y’know there was a lot more to those times than just that. A lot of creativity! Jerry is one of the best melody writers ever, and Layne was a virtuoso vocalist and obviously his lyrics resonate with so many people. For me, I was blesse dot have been there when it all happened ( I’m from L.A. But I wound up in Seattle , playing led guitar in the lare eighties and early nineties. God Bless your sobriety!
Please if you ever get a chance, write that book. You are the only one on the internet who knows about those days, and any info on Demri, Layne, Chris, Andy, or others in the Seattle Grunge Scene would be appreciated. Anything you have to say would be gratefully appreciated. Thank you.
Please write that story, for a book. Many of us are looking forward to books that are from friends, and true to the tale of Layne and Demri. Not the fake books that have, or will be coming out about them, by authors who have no real knowledge of them. They’re both special persons in their own right, and both should be acknowledged as such.
Barbara,
I’ve talked to you on FB and appreciate how friendly and open you are 🙂 When I came to your website and pulled up Dem’s page, I realized I had already been here a few years ago. Your site was the most helpful then, and continues to help those of us wanting to learn more about Layne & Dem. There’s just not that much out there about them and the beautiful souls they were.
Many of us found them through Layne’s music, which has evoked so much feeling and emotion from my heart and I just want to learn anything that I can from someone who actually knew & loved them.
Kathleen, I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine, but please know there are many of us who adore Layne & Demri.
~Kat
Thank you Kat, I try to be friendly and just treat everyone like I would expect to be treated… so it’s always nice to hear. I’ve been writing on this website now for at least 4-5 years and before that I would write about my memories on my personal blogs (Divageekdesigns.com and ibdreamy.livejournal.com) when I was missing them or whatever…but those posts got so much attention.. over the years that I finally decided to create a website dedicated to them. It has been very therapeutic for me over the years and it has helped to keep Demri’s memory alive and has introduced her name to so many who never knew who she was which was my original goal. I hated that no one knew who she was. Bothered me for some reason. Now I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I started writing about her online about 12 years ago now and some of the pictures I posted can still be seen floating around online… like the one of them kissing taped to my wall or the black and white ones of her in the coat and hat.. all print outs I received from Darin from her memorial. I’m just happy more people came out and started to share pictures of her. Then Jack shared the photos of Demri and Rosheen which made my YEAR! I had nothing left of them myself so it was like a true gift and to find pictures of my loved ones online…. by someone I never knew. Felt a little CRAZY. But not anymore. Hope I’m making sense. Haha! Anway hope you continue to find this website informative and fun to visit. RIP Demri, Layne, Rosheen and Mike.
Not a day goes by when I don’t think of the both of them. Beautiful memorial and thank you Kathleen..it truly means a lot to those of us who hold them dear to our hearts.
-Jesse
I came across this website a few days ago, and I have to admit that this is wonderful….thank you so much Barbara Darin and Mom Kathleen for sharing her memories with us! She was an amazing person from what I can get, and i’m sorry for the bad word but f*ck the haters….all jealous people that don’t know how to appreciate someone so full of life Demri was! Of course we all make mistakes for God’s sake and so what?! that doesn’t makes us bad people! I’m loving this website and to found out more about Layne and Demri and how unique they were makes me really happy| 🙂
Dana,
Thank you so much and it’s always great to hear that people are enjoying the website AND finding more about the truth compared to the hype.
Demri and Layne were awesome people who had a fatal disease but that did not make them bad people. Just human. Rest in Peace our sweet angels. Happy to know you found and enjoy the web site.
Barbara